祝福6.29. iBT考生，相信小马，小马是你们坚强的后盾，温暖的家！~~~暑假即将到来，祝愿写作版的小马们在轻松愉快时不忘多练练作文喔o(∩_∩)o...remember to give suggestions to other compositions.


This week's topic:

Agree or D: The only thing the government should do to improve health care of people is to clean the environment.

Agree or D: The only thing the government should do to improve health care of people is to clean the environment.


On the cusp of 21st century, the importance of health care has been raised to the level that has never been raised before because human civilization has developed into a whole new era marked by the green revolution, environmental protection and genetic engineering. Cleaning the environment, as a method to improve health care, has been adopted by some government as a only way to improve the citizens' health level. Although it is true that cleaning the environment do benefit a great deal to the health care of people, hardly can I agree that this method can sever as the only method to give such benefits since an utterly inadequate method can not result in dealing with a severe situation from the overall perspective.

For one thing, seldom can the methods of cleaning the environment serve as a key settlement to solve the problem of health care of people. Not only can the air be refresh but also the water can be pure again if we could truly devote ourselves to cleaning the environment. As the environment condition improves, there is no doubt that the bacteria would decrease while the mosquitoes can transmit little disease to human beings by carrying the malaria parasite. However, children still can easily catch cold in the winter if the parents or teachers pay little attention to seasonal change. People still could get AIDS from drug injection and promiscuous sex, and the cancer from the various reasons other than the environment factor. Employers still can suffer the psychological problem and manic depression. Without the good apparatus, people can not recover fully and quickly from the disease. All of these situations would make the methods of cleaning the environment meaningless and useless.Therefore, the method of cleaning the environment could not serve as the "Sunday punch".

For another , there are other crucial method to improve the health care condition both from the software perspective and from the hardware perspective. Upgrading the medical apparatus and instruments can serve the same target to improve the environment condition as the cleaning the environment. Raising the professional level of medical stuffs can guarantee the patients to get more considerate health care. Inventing the new vaccine can prevent more disease occurring. Teaching people more about the medical knowledge would do benefit to the people's conscious about the health care by themselves. Moreover, without input of modern technology, the methods of cleaning the environment would be ineffectively according to the current situation. Therefore, other factors do help improve the health care condition besides cleaning the environment.

In short, we must combine various factors  other than relay on the only one methods of cleaning the environment to creat the ultimate weapon to destroy the obstacles. Only by doing this comprehensive means can human being have a bright future in the domain of health care.

[ 本帖最后由 нандин 于 2008-6-27 07:39 编辑 ]

放假前最后一篇了,晚上Packing之后会有大约一星期不能来了,之后就进入漫长的暑期宅男生活了............

383words,检查了拼写,语法.最近在尝试一些新的思路,不知效果如何

As we all see, with the medical development, people are living much longer than they used to be. And currently, one of the resolutions to keep people live longer is health care. Some people consider to accomplish such work by the government only with cleaning the environment. Beyond complex the problem is, I think cleaning is far from resolving it.

Most of all, cleaning is one expensive way because of the goal even just a pointless region around the people who need health care. By the medical standard, people would be 100 percent harmless by microorganism only if there is no one. So to keep people out of the bacteria, government will have to cost numerous money on the workers, costly equipments and medicines. And yet, it is still quite difficult to keep by the reason which everyone knows, bacteria can grow exponentially once they found one bare capable place even though it is barely, which means if we miss one, we miss them all. Consequently, people will have to pay much more money to get into a health center and still with a great chance to catch bacteria nearly same as when they are at home.

Furthermore, the defenders inside us which have given us the ability to protect ourselves from the bacteria for thousands years, is the essential element of a healthy person. People who want to get a healthy body are more supposed to have the basic factor instead of being in a total clean environment. One of the most critical things for the health center, therefore, is to make people have such powerful defenders and keep them strong. The methods to achieve that include many ways, such as multi-sources and healthy food, good rest, peaceful emotion and reasonable physical exercises, which are all with higher efficiency and much fewer cost. The government will do little job to gain more healthy people.

Additionally, even with the clean environment, healthy food and lovely nurses who keep the patient having exercises and good rest, their health still will not get improved if they are not cooperate with all the methods. The only thing that matters is the people themselves, not the environment, the equipments or the people accompanying them. Thus cleaning is distant from improving health care of people, as a conclusion.

[ 本帖最后由 hys17 于 2008-6-26 16:34 编辑 ]

呵呵，大家加油~~

7月12号就要考了，这是写的第四篇，感觉时间紧迫，非常忧心，请大家猛拍，谢谢了！

There is no denying that the government should spare no effort to improve health care of people by cleaning the environment where people inhale the air often polluted and drink the water usually contaminated. As a result, the health conditions of most people are worrying. However, from all the factors affecting people's health, the awareness to keep healthy, the availability of well-built facilities for exercise and stricter regulations are indispensable.

As we know, if people living in an area where the authority neglects to draw their attention of the importance of health, they may simply lead the lives the way it is and never think about to make a change. Particularly obvious is such phenomenon in rural areas that people are not aware of the necessity to wash hands before eating meals and to clean their houses once a week at least. All these contribute to drag down the quality of people's health, and thereby it is time the government did its utmost to let these people pay close attention to their daily hygiene.

To such reasons, yet another must be added. In short of facilities for exercise, the majority of people living in my hometown are deprived of the opportunity to do sports, such as playing basketball in a broad court or swimming in a large pool. It is a pity that the government has not noticed that daily exercise serve as a vital role in improving health and preventing people from developing diseases. If only the government can channel more money in building essential facilities one can employ to jump, run and kick a ball, the quality of people's health will, if not immediately, be ameliorated.

Finally, the authority should also enact stricter laws on irregular and unhealthy activities, namely, smoking and gambling, for these bad habits could seriously impair people's health. Even though the government should not intrude upon privet activities, some regulations, like imposing higher taxes on cigarette will help decrease the numbers of smokers, therefore keeping them away from cancer-producing chemicals.

To sum up, while considering reinforcing the efforts on improving environment, the government should also take other actions mentioned above. If any of them is dismissed, it is hard to imagine how people’s health will further deteriorate. In this case, the combination of all the four methods is more than a wise decision.

希望你先猛拍别的小马发上来的作文。
具体规则可看规则贴。

学习ing

[ 本帖最后由 lovemeyouha 于 2008-6-27 00:21 编辑 ]

我几天前的文章还没人帮忙看下呀。。。。。最近写作文越写越没感觉了，今天写了个名人的话题，简直就没话说了，都不敢发上来了

我怎么觉得这个题目那么难啊！好像不太能套老师给过的各种可能性的样子？？
写死了……思路有点混乱，说不清楚了，不知道这么着行不行……

This week's topic:
Agree or D: The only thing the government should do to improve health care of people is to clean the environment.

It is the rapid development of economy and medical technology, combined with the enhancement of the consciousness about health, as everybody knows all too well, that makes health care more and more important for the people all over the world. But, is keeping clean environment so important that we should hold that as the only method when facing the problem of improving health care? The answer is definitely “no” when taking various courses arousing diseases into account.

Sure the clean environment is helpful for health care by killing and controlling the spread of bacteria. Besides this, the pollution declined sharply when keeping air cleaned. However, the definition of health from WHO (world health organization) is “Health is a state of complete physical, mental, social well-being and not merely the absence of disease or infirmity.” It is obviously that there are so many causes leading to sickness which could also be divided into several parts: hereditary diseases, illness brought by blood or even mental diseases. All these kinds of sickness could not be solved only by clean air. And the crucial aspect is that the power of government is not only limited to this tiny effort, but also in more difficult sides.

What else should authority do if want to improve health care of people? Well, in my opinion, here are three more important measures should be taken by the government. First, make good effort on the research of bacterin to confront the hereditary diseases. The fact that not all illnesses could be cured makes hundreds of patients live with disaster. Meanwhile, the cost of the research on these sicknesses, more often than not, would not be afforded by one person or one group, which is just the responsibility of government. Then, the authority should take some measures, popularizing the knowledge about the causes of illness, arousing the public attention to protecting disease. In addition, most of the time, it is just the high medical appliance charges that lead to the uncontrolled disaster.

With the various status mentioned above, since the causes of disasters has been so complicated that it is undoubtedly that cleaning the environment is far from enough. And I hold a strong belief, in spite of the difficulties of this kind or that, that the health care of people should be improved only if the methods, bacterin research, arousing the attention and reducing the cost on medicine, were carried into execution.

It is the rapid development of economy and medical technology, combined with the enhancement of the consciousness about health, as everybody knows all too well, that makes health care more and more important for the people all over the world. But, is keeping clean environment so important that we should hold that as the only method when facing the problem of improving health care? The answer is definitely（少用absolutely这种词） “no” when（we） taking various courses arousing（不恰当，改causing, leading to, resulting in）diseases into account.

Sure the clean environment is helpful for health care by killing and controlling（spread是不能kill的） the spread of bacteria. Besides this, the pollution declined（为什么用过去式） sharply when keeping air cleaned. However, the definition of health from WHO (world health organization) is “Health is a state of complete physical, mental, social well-being and not merely the absence of disease or infirmity.” （这都能记住啊，呵呵）It is obviously（obvious） that there are so many（后面无that结构，最好改为numerous）causes leading to sickness which could also be divided into several parts: hereditary diseases, illness brought by blood or even mental diseases. All these kinds of sickness could not be solved only by clean（cleaning） air. And the crucial aspect is that the power of government is not only limited to this tiny effort, but also in more difficult sides.（这句话表意不清）

what else should authority do if （they）want to improve health care of people? Well, in my opinion, here are three more important measures that should be taken by the government. First, make good（很多余的词，而且掉了a） effort on the research of bacteria to confront the hereditary diseases. The fact that not all illnesses could be cured makes hundreds of patients live with disaster. Meanwhile, the cost of the research on these sicknesses, more often than not, would not be afforded by one person or one group（能用主动就主动，别用被动，特别是有动作发出者）, which is just the responsibility of government. Then, the authority should take some measures, （such as 加连接词）popularizing the knowledge about the causes of illness, arousing the public attention to protecting disease. In addition, most of the time, it is just the high medical appliance charges that lead to the uncontrolled disaster.

With the various status mentioned above, since the causes of disasters has been so complicated that it is undoubtedly that cleaning the environment is far from enough. And I hold a strong belief, in spite of the difficulties of this kind or that, that the health care of people should be improved only if the methods, bacteria research, arousing the attention and reducing the cost on medicine, were carried into execution.
感觉用词还是单调了点，老看到arouse，method几个词，还有很多结构很累赘，我觉得还是应该提倡plain English的文风，简洁不简单。
PS：我的文章在这摆了N天了，还没人提点意见。。。。。都要考试了，哎

[ 本帖最后由 reagonzhx 于 2008-6-30 09:46 编辑 ]