查看完整版本: 我想问问作文， 请教

我想问问作文， 请教

我看了独立作文的讲解，说每个论点都要有例证，每个例证都要有细节。可在李笑来老师的高分作文中没有例证与太多细节，例如Obviously, in most cases the earliest teachers people have are their parents, and parents are generally most concerned about the development of their children. However, it is not completely true to say that parents are the best teachers.

First of all, not all parents are good teachers. As normal individuals, some parents more or less have some bad habits. Even though parents almost instinctively devote themselves to cultivating their offspring, the outcome might turn out to be disappointment, for all children tend to unconsciously or subconsciously copy everything including bad ones from their parents. Another deficiency of parents as teachers is the fact that most parents are lack of common senses of education. All too often we observe some parents tend to pursue their cherished but failed dream by forcing their children to develop in a prearranged direction. Ironically, when their children do not follow the instructions, the children will be regarded as disobedient or allegedly rebellious. In fact, it is parents rather than their children that virtually disobey common senses.
Moreover, some parents are qualified as good teachers, but not all of them are the best ones. When children are in the preliminary school, it is not surprising that parents are perhaps capable of teaching their children almost every subject even better than professional teachers in the school.

论点已经充分展开,从多方面讲了有些家长不是最好的老师,这就是细节.
并且此文章也不缺乏例子,比如:As nomal individuals , some parents.......
Another deficiency of parents as teachers is.........

我会再仔细看，谢谢