查看完整版本: [分享]抛粪引玉——被老外精改后的托福作文[3月12日2楼更新非托福作文]

[分享]抛粪引玉——被老外精改后的托福作文[3月12日2楼更新非托福作文]

以下几篇是俺被新东方精改后的作文，有不少中国学生的通病。
请大家细看老外是怎么宰我这只鸡的
外加详细诊断说明和评估
请众多待宰鸡进行自我诊断后自救
希望有所帮助
A
[font=Arial][size=12pt][b]Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Boys and girls should attend separate schools. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.[/b][/size][/font]
[font=Arial][size=12pt][b]B
[align=left][b][font=Arial][size=12pt]Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Children should begin learning a foreign language as soon as they start school. Use specific reasons and examples to support your position.[/size][/font][/b][/align][align=left][b][font=Arial][size=12pt]C[/size][/font][/b][/align][align=left][b][font=Arial][size=12pt]题目遗失[/size][/font][/b][/align][align=left][b][font=Arial][size=12pt]D[/size][/font][/b][/align][b][font=Arial][size=12pt][align=left][b][font=Arial][size=12pt]Businesses should hire employees for their entire lives. Do you agree or disagree? Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.[/size][/font][/b][/align][/size][/font][/b][align=left][b][font=Arial][size=12pt]E[/size][/font][/b][/align][b][font=Arial][size=12pt][align=left][b][font=Arial][size=12pt]In some countries, teenagers have jobs while they are still students. Do you think this is a good idea? Support your opinion by using specific reasons and details.[/size][/font][/b][/align][align=left][/size][/font][/b][b][font=Arial][size=12pt]F[/size][/font][/b][/align][b][font=Arial][size=12pt][align=left][b][font=Arial][size=12pt]Some people like to do only what they already do well. Other people prefer to try new things and take risks. Which do you prefer? Use specific reasons and examples to support your choice.[/size][/font][/b][/align][/size][/font][/b][align=left][b][font=Arial][size=12pt]G[/size][/font][/b][/align][b][font=Arial][size=12pt][align=left][b][font=Arial][size=12pt]Do you agree or disagree that progress is always good? Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.[/size][/font][/b][/align]H
[align=left][b][font=Arial][size=12pt]In the future, students may have the choice of studying at home by using technology such as computers or television or of studying at traditional schools. Which would you prefer? Use reasons and specific details to explain your choice.[/size][/font][/b][/align]
[align=left][b][font=Arial][size=12pt]I[/size][/font][/b][/align]
[b][font=Arial][size=12pt][b][font=Arial][size=12pt]You have enough money to purchase either a house or a business. Which would you choose to buy? Give specific reasons to explain your choice.[/size][/font][/b]
[/size][/font][/b][/size][/font][/b][/b][/size][/font]

[[i] 本帖最后由 舒院士 于 2008-3-12 00:18 编辑 [/i]]

以下陆续更新非托福被老外改过的文章
以后不定期更新在大学所有writing project, 学术PAPER除外
[quote]
1。What Multiculture Children May Face， 由朋友msn点评，没有下一篇详细
      评分：gramma A-
                 organize A-
                 overall A-
2。The Media Power, 为ESL写作而作。由朋友详批，内含错误更正及批注，请用word切换最初最终状态来看。
      评分：gramma TBD
                 organize TBD
                 overall  TBD

[/quote]

感谢ALMIGHTY F

[[i] 本帖最后由 舒院士 于 2008-3-12 00:43 编辑 [/i]]

顶一个！

不错不错

xiexie~

求佛

院士,作文修改还有更新吗?期待更新的作品哦.

很有帮助。。。。:lol

就喜欢这样奉献的人

不过我现在不弄托福了，以后开始更新大学写作课essay，如果有老外帮该吧
我是个esl班的，大家别笑话我

你要是ESL班的我们都别活了,小样装的还挺象,T考104是闹着玩的啊...
顶一个....

我今天才被写作给打击了...................真晕啊,不写还真发现不了问题

顶
支持楼主
我也喜欢大航海!!!

谢谢分享！:victory:

回复 1# 的帖子

thanks a lot！:victory:

的确看到了自己也会犯的毛病，不过ＬＺ的对语言的应用还真不错

谢谢谢谢 ^ ^

版主该给这个加精华才对!

真的是很有用，学了不少东西，但是只能下第一个 后面几个下不了，为什么啊？

9命啊~！:Q

下功夫了。。。

XIEXIELA