查看完整版本: 我的处女作 大家看能的几分 ?

我的处女作 大家看能的几分 ?

TOEFL 刚刚写好 第一篇 作文..... 见笑 ....大家 看 能的几分，手写的 25分钟完工 达到电脑上 把错字 纠正了一些， 语法 个别纠正了 所以..... 字数 明显不够 250+ 汗 ....自己 读起来 感觉 像 初中生写的.....信心全无....

[size=4]Nowadays, competitive social environment causes people a big problem with more stress in their daily life. [/size]
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[size=4]The sociologists and psychologist never faced such big problem in history before. It is necessary to be in a calm, moderate mood for individual keep efficient. The question is which the best way of reducing the stress is. [/size]
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[size=4]People have different methods to escaping from anxious situation. My idea is to do some exercise. My personal experience can be a feasible example to prove it. [/size]
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[size=4]People who under pressure needs other thing to convert their focus. For instance, once I was faced a tremendous problem with my school work. I had to pass a test which in some degree overwhelms me. Finally, I chose to do some exercise to relief the pressure. I felt really relax and calm after I finished running around my yard. The result is I past the exam. Then I decided to maintain this good habit. [/size]
[size=4][/size]
[size=4]Compare to some methods else, such as eating or sleeping. In my opinion, exercise is the most healthy and efficient one. It is simply because people who did a short exercise will get into a productive, high-spirits period which provides people enough confidence and efficiency to conquer the problem. Moreover, conquer the pressure. [/size]
[size=4][/size]
[size=4]In short, I suggest the best way to relief stress is doing exercise. This is a healthy, feasible, relaxing way to solve such problem. By the way, you can keep this as a daily habit even though you are not under pressure. Colorful life is winking to you. [/size]


好心小马 帮帮忙 好么？紧急求救 from U.S   [url=http://www.xiaomaguohe.net/bbs/viewthread.php?tid=9126&page=1&extra=page%3D1]http://www.xiaomaguohe.net/bbs/viewthread.php?tid=9126&page=1&extra=page%3D1[/url]

[[i] 本帖最后由 liruoran 于 2008-2-18 23:56 编辑 [/i]]

Nowadays, competitive social environment causes people a big problem with more stress in their daily life. The sociologists and psychologist never faced such a big problem in history before. It is necessary to be in a calm, moderate mood for individual to keep efficient. The question is which is the best way of reducing the stress. People have different methods to escape from anxious situation. My idea is to do some exercise. My personal experience can be a feasible example to prove it. People who under pressure need other things to convert their focus. For instance, once I was facing a tremendous problem with my school work. For example, I had to pass a test which in some degree overwhelms mine. Finally, I chose to do some exercise to relief the pressure. I felt really relax and calm after I finished running around my yard. The result is that I passed the exam. Then I decided to maintain this good habit. Compare to some methods else, such as eating or sleeping. In my opinion, exercise is the most healthy and efficient one. It is simply because people who did a short exercise will get into a productive, high-spirits period which provides people enough confidence and efficiency to conquer the problem. Moreover, to conquer the pressure. In short, I suggest the best way to relief stress is doing exercise. This is a healthy, feasible, relaxing way to solve such problem. By the way, you can keep this as a daily habit even though you are not under pressure. Colorful life is winking to you. 0 O; j: T5 K2 d' y1 ?1 h

[size=10.5pt]Nowadays, competitive social environment causes people a big problem with more stress in their daily life. The sociologists and psychologist never faced such [color=red]a[/color] big problem in history before. It is necessary to be in a calm, moderate mood for individual [color=red]to [/color]keep efficient. The question is which [color=red]is[/color] the best way of reducing the stress. People have different methods to[color=red] escape [/color]from anxious situation. My idea is to do some exercise. My personal experience can be a feasible example to prove it. People who under pressure [color=red]need [/color]other [color=red]things[/color] to convert their focus. For instance, once I was [color=red]facing[/color] a tremendous problem with my school work. [color=red]For example,[/color] I had to pass a test which in some degree overwhelms [color=red]mine[/color]. Finally, I chose to do some exercise to relief the pressure. I felt really relax and calm after I finished running around my yard. The result [color=red]is that I passed t[/color]he exam. Then I decided to maintain this good habit. Compare to some methods else, such as eating or sleeping. In my opinion, exercise is the most healthy and efficient one. It is simply because people who did a short exercise will get into a productive, high-spirits period which provides people enough confidence and efficiency to conquer the problem. Moreover, [color=red]to [/color]conquer the pressure. In short, I suggest the best way to relief stress is doing exercise. This is a healthy, feasible, relaxing way to solve such problem. By the way, you can keep this as a daily habit even though you are not under pressure. Colorful life is winking to you. 0 O; j: T5 K2 d' y1 ?1 h[/size]

我觉得３或者４分吧．大家意见？

又写了一篇 谢谢 楼上的...

:L
Is it better to enjoy your money [size=4]as soon as  [/size] you get it or is it better to save your money for some time in the future? Use specific reasons and examples to support your opinion.     

Nowadays, people need to learn how to manage their income. Even wealthy people can ruin their treasure if they spend money with no plan. It is always a big dispute among people that which way is the better to manage your money: enjoy it now or keep it in the bank. I maintain the idea keep a part in the bank and enjoy the left.     

No doubt to say, that the reason why people work hard is to earn more money. Moreover, it is from people's desire to possess more resource. Enjoy presently is some one's doctrine of life. So, this type of people usually spends more than a half amount of the money that they earn right after they get it. The lack of planning will hurt them when they realize.      

Actually I was a good example of this kind of people. When I was young,  I used to get "red bag" in Chinese New Year time annually. It is a big festival in China. Kids will get big sums of money for good wishes as a tradition. What I used to do is spent more than one half at the very beginning of the year, as you know, the money is for the whole year.  The time that I spent all my money and I began to realize that there is nearly whole year waiting for me who is already broke. It is pretty hurt when I saw my friends still possess a big amount of money. The lesson is I started planning the money ever since.   

It is same as a person who has income need to manage it wisely. So keep a part in the bank and use a part for pleasure. With this you can enjoy the money without sacrifice the deposit amount. With this you can pay for both your short-term and long-term desire. Depends one different individual the only thing need to do is coordinate the reputation of the tow part money. With this people will really enjoy the colorful life.

[[i] 本帖最后由 liruoran 于 2008-2-19 00:02 编辑 [/i]]

小问题

For instance  为什么  改成For example    谢谢指教

现在人怎么都不用模版了,搞得我自愧不如啊

请教楼上 作文 必用墨板？？？？？  我对墨板 不很了解 ，，，

, competitive social environment causes people a big problem with more stress in their daily life. "


people have many problems in our competitive society .things that you think are difficult to do, other people think are easy to do.举例子。。。。。。。。。。。so , much more stress ,tesion and ......................

这样写会好吧。不要用老师的什么很长的难得句子，什么怪句子。说明白就好了。

我觉得你举的例子不够充分
字数要老是不够或者不知道些什么应该去学学戴云教主的黄金规则 很有帮助的