查看完整版本: 我的第二篇托福作文,请大虾们多指教呀.这先谢了!

我的第二篇托福作文,请大虾们多指教呀.这先谢了!

Nowadays, food has become easier to prepare. Has this change improved the say people live? Use specific reasons and examples of support your answer.

      As the increasing development of catering industry, preparing food has become apparently easier than it had been. It seems that the easier food preparing methods saves our time and would make us live a happier life. However, preparing food, with its processes reduced, simplified by its fun and nutrition cut, have lost too much of its content.
      May most of people have noticed that various ingredients, cookers and some new methods considerably east the activities of preparing food. So many kinds of ingredients in supermarkets are supplied that we could create dishes with simple cookers and little effort, and people nowadays can make foods for sumptuous feast even only with a microwave oven. Notwithstanding, convenient is not so important in our eating habits.
I still remember that when I was a little child, my mother, in whose spare time, often enjoyed herself in the kitchen making snacks and I would help do the chores. At that time, the whole family would together relish the delicious food and have chit-chat. Some times, some friends of mine would join us, all of them would praise profusely. And my mother would obviously proud of it. Nonetheless, it was only good old day. My mother had lost her interest in cooking snacks due to so many snacks sold in supermarket or can prepare easily using some ingredient. It is clearly that the activities of preparing food nowadays though easier yet lost fail to give people self-satisfaction.
       In addition, foods prepare by these ways or with ingredient supplied at supermarkets often at poor nutrition. Vegetables, meets or fruits usually lose much of their nutrition when they are made into ingredients. Moreover, some additives used in modern catering industry even do harm to our health. In this way, the convenience has cost too much of us.
The traditional methods of preparing food have too many of its functions, simple cut some of the processes would invite its content loss. Undoubtedly, the methods for preparing food easier were more destroyed our good eating habits than improved the people live.

我觉得哈。。

观点应该开门见山，第一段的最后一句应该明确地说，我同意，或者不同意，你只给了原因，但没有表态
虽然你在最后说了你的观点，但是感觉比较乱。。

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感谢楼上的兄弟

感谢楼上的兄弟,在我还没给人家改之前就有人给我评了.真是太感谢了.回头我也抽时间支改两篇去.

Nowadays, food has become easier to prepare. Has this change improved the say people live? Use specific reasons and examples of support your answer

没有改变生活