查看完整版本: 第一篇，希望得到大家的帮助！

第一篇，希望得到大家的帮助！

题目是agree or disagree:Classmates are a more important influence than parents on a child's success in school.

自己写了一个小时又改了一个小时，实在改不动了，希望被大家批一下，学习学习，得到一个好的开局。

Nowadays, it is widely discussed whether classmates or parents influence more on children. Hot though the problem is, the decision is remarkably difficult to make. Some people hold the standpoint that classmates play a more crucial part, while others argue for parents are the most significant aspects during the growth of their children. When encounted with this issue, notwithstanding, I believe the influence of parents overweigh that of classmates.

Undeniably, children do benefit from the favor done by their classmates. They are of the same age, consequently their
classmates are more familiar with the curriculum. Lots of topics on entertainment or something else are shared.

Object to the opinion we have just gone over is my heartfelt belief that the classmates' role is ususally exaggrated, for
considerable as the benefits when they are with their classmates enjoy are, we can not ingore the drawbacks that the
classmates are less experienced and they sometimes have negtive effects on each other. On the contrary, the parents, in my view, are the best teachers.

There is little doubt that parents have a deeper love of their children. So truly do the parents love them that under on circumstances will they obtain something evil from their parents. They will realize right from wrong, and what is more, they will recognize the love from the eldrs and show respect to the senior people. This is what they scarcely learn from their classmates.

In addition, parents are more experienced. They could teach the children what they realy need, and on some level, they could also replace the influence of classmates. For instance, Abraham Lincoln had no classmates at all, for he had been in school for less than half a year. Nevertheless, thanks to his step-mother, he finally became one of the most celebrated presidents. There are so many examples that I could not list all of them.

From all of above we have discussed, we can safely come to the conclusion that parents act a more important role on children. Although the existance of the classmates has some merits, its defects, together with the love and experience of the parents, makes it clear that parents do have a stronger influence on children. Besides, it will be perfect when they could have a better communication and understanding.

第一段的notwithstanding感觉有点奇怪...
for considerable as the benefits when they are with their classmates enjoy are
这句话有点点没看懂...
个人感觉各段分配是不是可以调整一下？正面支持家长这一方的论述比较起来有点少...

回复 2# 的帖子

嗯，多谢指点！
那句话确实是写错了..................