查看完整版本: 写的第一篇,麻烦狠批

写的第一篇,麻烦狠批

和与自己相似的人交朋友好还是和自己不同的人交朋友

Friends nowaday have become one of the most important part of our lives. We hang out with our friends, and make new friends all the time. Sometimes people will face the choice that whether to make friends similar to them, or friend different from them insdead. When being asked, different people may have differnent point of view. Some may perfer to make similar friends, while other believes that friends different from them is better for them. If you ask me, I will say that making friends have similar personality and background is my choice. There are numerous reasons for that, and here are the ones I consider the most important.

The reason I can come up with the first is that similar friends is much easier to be with than different friends. When being with friend have similar personality with us, it is easy to predict what them are thinking. Knowing their thoughts, we can act more properly , which is good for developing our friendship. I used to have a friend who is not so similar as me. I was a outgoing person, but he was a very serious man. We remained our friendship but I should say that we never become very close as the difference of our personality. Sometimes embrassing moment comes when I making jokes on him and try to cheer him up but at last made him angry. Now my friends are all similar to me, we make jokes on each others and are happy all the time.

On the other hand, similar friends can also predict my thoughts. It is also important that they can tell what I am thinking. When I am sad but do not want to tell them what happened, they can always notice what is going on by themself and give the first-time comfort. When I am happy, they can always cheer for me in the best way I like. Sometimes it impresses me a lot as my friends do me a big favor before I get chance to ask them for it.  They can also give my the best advice when I am in dilemma and most of their choices have turned out to be very helpful for me.

Furthermore, being with similar friend will give me the pool of topics when we are chatting. I am never worried about
appearance of silence when we are talking. We always can never used up out topics. Also as we have similar habits and background, we never feel boring when listening to each other. What my friends saying is never boring to me and I think why hanging out with them is always a wonderful thing to do.

Should be said that it is hard to choose from both kinds of friends. There is no right or wrong as people have opinions differ from others because of their own experience.  But with the reason presented above, I commend people to make friends more similar to them.

文章的段落结构很清晰，第1篇文章写成这样很不错了，争取争取作文能打个高分呢:lol
LZ有一些小的语法问题：
比如第一句的应该是nowadays,又如it is easy to predict what them are thinking，应该是they；再比如a outgoing person，应该用an.  
每段里面都有一些语法问题~
应该是笔误吧，但是写完了一定要养成检查的习惯哟

还有一些小问题（纯属个人意见），先瞧瞧看
第1句话：Friends nowaday have become one of the most important part of our lives
我感觉不是nowadays吧，好像自古以来就是重要的，呵呵
Sometimes people will face the choice that whether to make friends similar to them, or friend different from them insdead.
When being asked, different people may have differnent point of view. Some may perfer to make similar friends, while other believes that friends different from them is better for them
虽然点出不同的观点是必要的，但总觉得以上两句有一些重复了~

过渡词句都是很不错的，加油练，呵呵




PS:建议LZ以后先用word检查一下拼写或是语法

[[i] 本帖最后由 ecarolfly 于 2008-2-5 18:38 编辑 [/i]]

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只给你简单改了一下语法和表达的错误,还要多多练习哦~~~

多谢指点~~~
我2月23就考了
希望好运吧:)

Ecarolfly老师
你说的那两个重复的句子其实是我的模板,不知道你有没有IDEA,怎么修改
我想总归应该先引出问题再陈述不同观点,但是不知道怎么表达才不显罗嗦

我觉得可以去掉一句话
或者你用不同的方式说
不要两句都是similar  friends和differenet friends
用重复的词容易觉得罗嗦