查看完整版本: 快考试了，恳请各位高人指教一下我的作文！！

快考试了，恳请各位高人指教一下我的作文！！

这几天一直在盲目的写作文，写到今天已经快写的吐了，觉得自己的作文实在太烂了。到现在自己都没有勇气写下去了。先发上来一篇刚写的作文，大家帮帮忙给我改改，快考试了，希望大家帮我找找毛病，在这样盲目的写下去我肯定会死的很惨！大家帮帮忙啊！！
77. Do you agree or disagree with following statement? Boys and girls should attend separate school. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.

Recently, there is a strange but interesting debate among people on whether boys and girls should attend separate schools. Some people think it's better for them to study in different school, with the primary consideration on children's "love". In contrast, others insist boys and girls to go to the same school. They argue that even children may fall in love in the school years, that is also an important experience for those teenagers. All the factors considered, I agree with the later one.

First of all, going to the same school offer young students chances to learn how to make friends with others of different gender. There is no doubt that when we enter the real society, we must get along well with both male partners and female colleagues. After our graduations, we have to work with different people, the only aspect we should consider is the qualities of our partners, it will be so ridiculous for anyone to choose the gender. So this is the problem: if one doesn't have any contact with girls or boys when he/she is a student, then when he/she faces them, they are just like a rare species in his/her world. It's not difficult to imagine how embarrassed he/she will be under that situation. Without chances to study with classmates in different gender, one must feel so helpless when he/she is required to work with such a person.

In addition, studying with both girls and boys can trigger, in some sense, students' interests on learning. One may find the atmosphere of study is more relaxed, children are more willing to learn, also are more creative. Just as the proverb says:" it's more easier to work when the male and female are together." Technically, from the psychological point, students may learn more effectively if the schools contain both boys and girls.

Also, there are some other advantages such as children are likely to be more mature in a normal school than that in a girls-only or boys-only place. The life will be more interesting and colorful when you are studying with both girls and boys. In conclusion, although there might be some disadvantages for this kind of school, which I can hardly figure out, I don't agree with the idea of separate thing.

[[i] 本帖最后由 sally0425 于 2008-1-30 19:27 编辑 [/i]]

a little chinglish I guess, like strange but interesting
It seems that examples are not valid enough, like para2, thought I can understrand what you mean, it is painstaking to catch your main point. Thi participation of  more detailed instances will better it,

I partially agree the statement of LS.
Para2 should be  logically reorgnized.
I try to modify your Para2 as follows:
     In addition, studying with both girls and boys can trigger, in some sense, students' interests on learning. In other words, it means:" it's more easier to work when the male and female are together." One may find the atmosphere of working with diffent gender, the study is more relaxed, students are more willing to learn, also are more creative.:)  Besides, from the psychological point, students may learn more effectively if the schools contain both boys and girls.

Thanks a lot.
I get your point now, I'll try harder, thanks for modifying my writing!!:D

仅供参考，lz还可以加很多东西进来，因为lz在文中说的观点真的不多。祝你考试成功。
Recently, there is a wide debate among people on whether boys and girls should attend separate schools. Some people believe it's better for them to study sperately, with the primary consideration on puppy "love". In the opposite, people who support mixed-sex education assert teenagers should receive same education in same places. I agree with the later one considering all the facts.

First of all, mixed education offers students a chance to learn how to make friends with different gender. It is no doubt that when we enter the real society, we will get along with both males and females. After our graduations, we have to work with different people; there will be no way for us to only make friends of same gender. If one never deals with girls or boys when he/she is a student, it will be very difficult to work together with all the people in future. That would be a dilemma and disaster to who just started career. 与前文重复，删掉了加个例子吧。

In addition, studying with both girls and boys contributes to students' interest in study. One may feels more relaxed, more willing to learn, also be more creative. Just as an old Chinese saying:" it's quite enjoyable to work when men and women are together." Besides, according to psychological statistics, students learns more efficiently when school contains both boys and girls.

Also, there are more other advantages to have both girls and boys in same class such as it is a complement for them to study in a mixed school. The life is more interesting and colorful when we are studying with both girls and boys. In conclusion, although there might be some disadvantages for mixed education, which can be nearly overlooked, I am in favor of a wonderful education with boys and girls together.
下面是带有修改标示的文本

太感动了，感谢ls的细心点评。发现每次写作文废话都很多，以后一定改正！
最后还是想表示一下感谢， I am so moved:'(