查看完整版本: 一篇作文（10月27日JJ作文，没思路的同学来看看吧）

一篇作文（10月27日JJ作文，没思路的同学来看看吧）

[size=3]Do you agree or disagree with the following statement?
observing or studying animal behavior can teach us a lot about human nature.
这个题目是比较难写的，思索了很久，今天早上上英语课突然就心潮澎湃了，思如泉涌……[/size]
[size=3][/size]
[font=Times New Roman][size=3]      “We were put on the earth to rise above nature”, just as the Bible says, we human beings are obviously superior to animals. Therefore, some of us insist on the opinion that there is no need for us to study animals’ behaviors. They laugh at scientists who study animal behaviors and say, “Come on, bro, what are doing? You are merely just studing animals which instinctively filling out their biologically determined destiny!” However, I’m against that view which is unilateral and even absurd.[/size][/font]
[font=Times New Roman][size=3]        By observing ordinary animals for years, Charles Darwin found out a simple yet significant law which thoroughly changed the fields of biology and also the human society. All the animals, including us humans, are under a so-called “natural selection” and only the “survival of the fittest”. This urges us to compete with each other in order not to be eliminated through selection. If it were not Darwin’s observing and study on these “inferior” living creatures, we will never notice that.[/size][/font]
[font=Times New Roman][size=3]        Moreover, despite the fact that animals do not have consciousness, they will do something good instinctively. A crow, for example, will refeed its mother which does not have the ability to live on all by itself. Some of us people, however, instead of being grateful, they just ignore their nursing parents when they get up and rich. What a shame! If selfishness has become a part of human nature, I think it’s high time we went to the animal world to study.[/size][/font]
[font=Times New Roman][size=3]        We human beings and animals share the same world and we live upon each other. To some extent, not only are we neighbors but also we are friends! We usually regard a person who communicates with others very little as conservative, so, are we sort of conservative if we don’t care about our neighbors and friends?[/size][/font]

[[i] 本帖最后由 whereiswc 于 2007-11-22 12:43 编辑 [/i]]

本来还要写进化论的，后来觉得写了反而不好
因为已经说了达尔文的一个观点，一篇文章说他的两个观点不好
二是怕字数超过限制，我在纸上写的时候觉得字数应该满多，结果打出来才300字:L

收~终于拜读到你的大作

写得很好，不知道版主这么深厚的语言积累是这么来的

本来没想写那么复杂
就是特意让句法多样化，而不失自然
至于那个圣经的句子，是看课文时候看到的，看到了之后感觉思如泉涌。。。

如果考官是个什么动物保护协会的，估计会不赞同人比动物优越的看法。

[quote]原帖由 [i]寒塘鹤影[/i] 于 2007-11-22 23:53 发表 [url=http://www.xiaomaguohe.net/bbs/redirect.php?goto=findpost&pid=65905&ptid=4968][img]http://www.xiaomaguohe.net/bbs/images/common/back.gif[/img][/url]
如果考官是个什么动物保护协会的，估计会不赞同人比动物优越的看法。 [/quote]
首先我是反对“因为人比动物优越，所以人不需要研究动物”这个观点的
另外考官在批改作文的会尽量做到客观
只要你理由reasonable都是可以接受的

相当好，很华丽的语言！

写的不错，但是我觉得你在第二段运用达尔文的观点的时候，如果能说得更深入一些就更好了，结尾那句显得有点头重脚轻。---个人意见

哟呵~和尚果然是牛人啊 ^^
conservative...贬义词?

毛毛``你第一句话就把我镇住了```

！！！！！~

佩服~！

[quote]原帖由 [i]wygdts[/i] 于 2007-11-24 22:34 发表 [url=http://www.xiaomaguohe.net/bbs/redirect.php?goto=findpost&pid=66724&ptid=4968][img]http://www.xiaomaguohe.net/bbs/images/common/back.gif[/img][/url]
写的不错，但是我觉得你在第二段运用达尔文的观点的时候，如果能说得更深入一些就更好了，结尾那句显得有点头重脚轻。---个人意见 [/quote]
我当时写的时候怕字数太多了，然后发现纸上写的觉得多都是幻觉
然后本来想把内容扩充一下的~~~
后来觉得就这么写吧
呵呵，又不是写范文

早上起来突然发现自己的积分没了，来支持一下回点RP

学习了。。。。。

楼主例子恐不恰当

乌鸦反哺是中国传统文化内容，我们自己能很容易的接受
不知道ETS怎么看啊?

这个是一个自然现象
既然是自然现象就是客观存在的。。。

写得很好！！

写的这么好~~~:L

什么时候，我的作文能有这么好呢？
郁闷。。。

今天上教主课，修改我作文时，直摇头，，
错误太多呀。


怎样，才能写到好文章呢。。
我读茫然了，怎么都能写这么的好呢？

刻意注重一下句法和内容，我的建议