查看完整版本: 第二篇，请大家不要留情！

第二篇，请大家不要留情！

[font=Calibri][size=3]Topic: Compare and contrast knowledge gained from experience with knowledge gained from books. In your opinion, which source is more important? Why?[/size][/font]
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[font=Calibri][size=3]Mencius, one of the greatest philosophers living in the Chunqiu period of ancient China, commented, "You can find a golden house in your experience rather than the books." These days, there are more and more people claim the importance of experience. However, others still think book is the most and only thing to lead to the successful. The way I see it, the knowledge we need should be gained from both books and experience.[/size][/font]
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[font=Calibri][size=3]We can't gained everything in the books. Sometimes, the experience plays a decisive role in our career. Steven Jobs offers a perfect example for the statement. Steven Jobs, as we all know, is the American computer tycoon and confounder and CEO of Apple Computer. When he was in high school, he worked at Hewlett-Packed as a summer employee and developed a keen interest in computers. He also got to know the latest developments in the computer industry from the crucial work experience which he can hardly get in school. In 1972, Jobs graduated from high school and entered Reed College, but he dropped out after only one semester, at age of 17, to devote himself to the fast-growing computer industry. It' s absolutely that Jobs didn't gain much knowledge which help him to be successful from books. To contrary, most of his knowledge came from the variety experience in the society. Do you still think book is the most important role in a man' s successful? [/size][/font]
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[font=Calibri][size=3]But on the other hand, if you are a freshman in some fields, a proper book should be the best teacher to help you understand the basic information. I will tell you a personal experience to prove the point. When I was a freshman in the college, I was told to write a essays about the International Law of Human Right. But I was totally a blank paper on that subject. So I went to the library and search the books on this point. Every day in that week, you can always saw me in a corner of the library with a lot of legal books. After one week, my thesis was down, which contained 5000 words totally. And the teacher give me an ‘A’ grade. So the book is truly the best medicine to help you know a new field.[/size][/font]
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[font=Calibri][size=3]All in all, the experience and books in equally important in the progress of gaining knowledge. A book will help you to learn the basic information , and an experience would help you to learn it deeper.[/size][/font]
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[font=Calibri][size=3]依然非常的baby,但是希望发到上面来可以监督自己写下去，有好心人就帮忙看看吧，谢谢！[/size][/font]

[url]http://www.xiaomaguohe.net/bbs/thread-3521-1-1.html[/url]

写的还好，比我强，例子很好

others still think book is the most and only thing to lead to the successful
most and only咋翻译？还有谁能认为书是唯一能让人进步的东西。。。。。

I was told to write a essays about the International Law of Human Right
a eassys 应该是 an eassy吧~呵呵

我觉得不错，但TOEFL考试里基本都是同意某一个观点然后充分论述，你这样的少……

还有说明性文字要的就是baby language。。。英文里的词汇没有高级不高级之分，只有常用不常用的。。。用常用词汇最能说明问题……恩，个人观点…^^

个人觉得相当不错了，例证很准确，表述也清楚。
我觉得和OG里5分作文差不多了。
不至于说自己BABY作文吧

回复 #4 TOEFL759_198 的帖子

谢谢指导！
我看到有些老师建议说不要一边倒，要两面都兼顾着写，于是就尝试一下！自己也觉得不是太好写，可能还没找到诀窍！

那句翻译得确实自己也觉得怪，有什么好的修改建议吗？
谢谢！

回复 #5 PARADISE77 的帖子

您真是太捧场了，我看别人的文章再来看自己的就觉得相当没有条理，不信您仔细看看！
:)

回复 #6 flower1987 的帖子

恩你第一段怎么看怎么象支持experience的……
但读到后面却发现对book也进行了充分论述…我感觉简略论述下就可以^^
并且对于experience的可以更加充分一些,因为关于这个的名人伟人太多了~呵呵

那句话可以这么写(恩恩..一家之言啊~)
While others think book is the nourishment for mind.
还有你ＨＯＯＫ写得好啊，我收下了，可以用在很多对比类型的题目:lol

[[i] 本帖最后由 TOEFL759_198 于 2007-10-30 23:54 编辑 [/i]]

回复 #8 TOEFL759_198 的帖子

收到你的建议了，太感谢了！
那个HOOK不是shiyu老师教授的，自己发现很多人都在用呢~~~

水平有限,感觉楼主的叙述比较流畅,只是表达不是那么高级,当然如果楼主和我处于一个时期的话,那么更应该把注意力集中在论述的条理性上
新人拙见~

确实感觉有点偏向支持 EXPERIENCE的   

个人认为,可加一段支持EXPERIENCE   再把第3段略写

写得好。不至于说是BABY吧

个人觉得事例挺精彩的，详细，数字甚至年代都有（不知是不是楼主编的，呵呵）
但每段主题句缺少更深刻一点的分析,像说book 好处的时候就可加一句，the knowledge contained in the book is more basic,systematic and more concrete,for example…

嘿嘿  我认为没什么可挑的  如果真的要挑点刺儿就是LZ 好象把孟子生活的年代写错了  不过以ETS 的智商是发现不了的  :lol

For reference

我给你全篇修正了一下。现在文章在语言上可能更加成熟了，但是有关事例对问题的佐证性仍然值得怀疑。我只是给你进行了语法和修辞上的修正，但对于你对这个题目的认识则无法苟同。

Mencius, one of the greatest philosophers living in the Chunqiu period of ancient China, commented, "You can find a golden house in your experience rather than the books." These days, there are more and more people who claim the importance of experience. On the contrary, others still think books are the most valuable resources from which you can finally attain the success. However, the way I see it, the knowledge we need should be gained from both books and experience.

We can't gain everything from books. Sometimes, the experience plays a decisive role in our career. Steven Jobs, an American computer tycoon who co-founded Apple Computer, has offered us a perfect example for this statement. When he was in high school, he worked at Hewlett-Packed as a summer employee and developed a keen interest in computers. He also got to know the latest developments in the computer industry from the crucial work experience which he can hardly get in school. In 1972, Jobs graduated from high school and entered Reed College, but he dropped out after only one semester, at age of 17, to devote himself to the fast-growing computer industry. It's obvious that what Jobs gained in helping him to be successful are not from books. To contrary, most of his knowledge came from various experiences gotten through his contact with society. Now would you still think that only books play the unparalleled role for one's success?

But on the other hand, if you are a novice in some field, a book can and ought to be the best teacher who helps you understand the most basic information that can serve as a foundation for your further practices. To prove this point, I will tell you some personal experience. When I was a freshman in the college, I was asked to write an essay about the International Law of Human Right. But, at that time, I was literally a blank paper on that subject. Having no other choices, I went to the library and searched books related to this topic. Throughout that week I was always sitting at a corner of the library with a bulk of books on law and human rights. Finally, I got my thesis done, which contained 5000 words totally. As a result, an ‘A’ grade was given by my teacher. Here, as you have seen, it’s undoubted that the book can be the best teacher when you are trying to step into a new field.

All in all, experiences and books should be considered equally important in the course of gaining knowledge. Books, which provide us with fundamental and widely recognized information and knowledge, will help you lay a ground for deeper study and real practice. Experiences, which are intensively associated with the application and implementation of the knowledge on papers, would compensate the part you can never get from books and lead you toward an ultimate success.

我觉得第一层论述在说学校的必要性而不是书本的作用大小