拍死我吧
TopicGovernment should pay more attention on healthy care issues than on environmental issues
Along with development of modern society, adults and children are frequently confronted with statement which is more important to government, Healthy care or environment? Different people hold different opinions due to their perspectives and backgrounds. As far as I am concerned, I strongly disagree that government should spend more time on healthy care issues than on environment. Also, I have some reasons to support my idea.
First of all, resolving some environmental problems, government can create a better life for next generation. An investigation shows that there are a lot of people die from air pollutions and water pollutions, which means this issue should be noticed by government. Our offspring can not survive in the earth if environment become worst, such as air pollution and global warming, ice melting. Therefore the governments must find the best way to solve these problems for our offspring. As we all know the more environment problems the government solves the better environment our offspring will face.
In addition, establishing a non polluted environmental country or city, government has some reputations in the world, which would have positive effect on the government. No one can deny that it is very hard to find the place where is no pollution. Also, the government will be respected by the other countries or cities if it has ability to build a non polluted city. For instance, my hometown, Guilin, where is very beautiful and less polluted city, attracts so many people from all over the world because Guilin know as green mountain and clear water, which is famous city in the world.
Finally, it is a way to safe some field animals if government suppose to pay much more attention on environment issues. As matter of fact that lots of field animals have already extricated because the place where they live is destroyed by human beings. Also, many field animals are friends of human beings. Thus, the government should take action to protect environment, such as grow tress in order to save these animals’ life.
From what has been discussed about, we can safely draw the concluded that government should not pay more attention on healthy issues that environment issues. 准备考试了，大家多给我点意见吧 没人理我吗 楼主还需要在句子变化和语法上总结总结，有时句意表达太不准确，文章不够流畅。。。。。需要改正的地方太多。。。不要总用Also开头，最多最多一次。
比如第一句：adults and children are frequently confronted with statement which is more important to government, Healthy care or environment? 我看不懂，需要重新写。。。。
比如：Our offspring can not survive in the earth if environment become worst,
worst这个词是最高级，如果要最高级，你之前要加the。如果比较级应该用worse，但是用了比较级之前你就不能说offspring can not survive.所以这个句子要重新写。。。。
比如：For instance, my hometown, Guilin, where is very beautiful and less polluted city, attracts so many people from all over the world because Guilin know as green mountain and clear water, which is famous city in the world.
句子太长，并且语法错误太多。而且后半句看不懂。非限定性定语从句，先行词是Guilin, 只能用which作关系代词来连接。
改正：For instance, my hometown, Guilin, which is a very beautiful and less-polluted city and is renowned for its green mountains and clear rivers, attracts many people all over the world.
用模板要抄正确。。。。
最后一句：From what has been discussed about, we can safely draw the concluded that government should not pay more attention on healthy issues that environment issues.
改正：From what has been discussed above, we can safely draw the conclusion that government should not pay more attention on healthy issues than environment issues.
回复 4# 的帖子
七叔来拍下我的作文吧 29就考了 指点指点 准备用压力类应付所有作文（虽然中奖率不是很高……）页:
[1]