查看完整版本: 第六次强烈求拍！！~~

第六次强烈求拍！！~~

[b]老托第九题~~[/b]

[align=left][align=left][b][font=TimesNewRoman][size=14pt][font=Times New Roman]9 Some people prefer to live in a small town. Others prefer to live in a big city. Which place would you prefer to live in? Use specific reasons and details to support your answer.[/font][/size][/font][/b][/align][/align][font=Times New Roman] [/font]
[font=Arial][size=12pt]“To be or not to be” is the burning problem for Hamlet. While for the modern people, it is no exaggerating to say that living in small town or big city is the question which presses for solution. From my personal angle, it never remains suspicious of the point that living in a small town is better.[/size][/font]
[font=Arial][size=12pt] [/size][/font]
[font=Arial][size=12pt]The major reason can be obviously seen. Small town is cleaner than big city. Along with the city-centered growth of commerce and economy comes a variety of commodities and technologies flowing into cities, especially the metropolis. In that case, there are more and more people, cars, and factories and so on. As a result, rare pleasant surroundings can people enjoy for the reason that these elements never fails to damage the environment. Have you ever felt annoyed when you had to live aside a smelly river? Have you ever felt repressed when you had not seen sunshine through the grey sky for a month? Have you ever felt nauseated when you breathed the air with gas released by cars? If you have suffered from such experiences, you might feel how terrible big cities are. [/size][/font]
[font=Arial][size=12pt] [/size][/font]
[font=Arial][size=12pt]Usually, terrible environment is thought as the crucial disadvantage, which can be seen for physical trouble of people in big cities. But that is only part of the reality. There is another aspect of psychological problem for people.[/size][/font]
[font=Arial][size=12pt] [/size][/font]
[font=Arial][size=12pt]Not only do big cities have a problem of environment, but also problems of noise and stress as well. As mentioned above, the increasing cars, industrial development and crowd people and so on will make a remarkable variety of noise. According to the resent research reports, it proves the noises that can lead people, which live in big cities, to get diverse psychological problems. For anther thing, in big cities, modern people suffer from all kinds of survival stress, such as the expensive prices. Everyone in big cities, whatever the poor or the rich, is always struggling in the ocean of the metropolis’s life so that they often feel obliged to live.[/size][/font]
[font=Arial][size=12pt] [/size][/font]
[font=Arial][size=12pt]In conclusion, I take it for granted that living in big cities will be full of sighs. Thus, for most of the time, we are always on an arduous journey in seeking such a place, which is the heaven for our heart. There was a time when we lived in the small town, the sky was blue and our heart was clam.[/size][/font]

[b]word count: 403[/b]

连续几天看了落落版主的文章，以及两位IBT得了高分的同学的帖子，当然也有小艾的那篇范文，感触良多，就拿这篇文章来改。唉，可是我的功力实在是未到家，想了半天，想破了脑袋，也就只改了一点点地方，请大家狠狠拍我，顺便给我出出主意，这中间的论证还要怎么改啊~~~（黑体字部分是改动原文的地方）

[b][font=Arial][size=12pt]Since home is the basic of human’s life,[/size][/font][/b][font=Arial][size=12pt] [b]where to live is a burning problem. Especially for both of them having own remarkable features, [/b]living in small town or big city [b]becomes[/b] a question for [b]the modern people[/b] [b]which presses for solution[/b]. From my personal angle, it never remains suspicious of the point that living in a small town is better.[/size][/font]
[font=Arial][size=12pt] [/size][/font]
[font=Arial][size=12pt]The major reason can be obviously seen. Small town is cleaner than big city. Along with the city-centered growth of commerce and economy comes a variety of commodities and technologies flowing into cities, especially the metropolis. In that case, there are more and more people, cars, and factories and so on. As a result, rare pleasant surroundings can people enjoy for the reason that these elements never fails to damage the environment. Have you ever felt annoyed when you had to live aside a smelly river? Have you ever felt repressed when you had not seen sunshine through the grey sky for a month? Have you ever felt nauseated when you breathed the air with gas released by cars? If you have suffered from such experiences, you might feel how terrible big cities are. [/size][/font]
[font=Arial][size=12pt] [/size][/font]
[font=Arial][size=12pt]Usually, terrible environment is thought as the crucial disadvantage, which can be seen for physical troubles of people in big cities. But that is only part of the reality. There is another aspect [b]about[/b] psychological problems for people.[/size][/font]
[font=Arial][size=12pt] [/size][/font]
[font=Arial][size=12pt]Not only do big cities have a problem of environment, but also problems of noise and stress as well. As mentioned above, the increasing cars, industrial development and crowd people and so on will make a remarkable variety of noise. According to the resent research reports, it proves the noises that can lead people, which live in big cities, to get diverse psychological problems. For another thing, in big cities, modern people suffer from all kinds of survival stress, such as the expensive prices. Everyone in big cities, whatever the poor or the rich, is always struggling in the ocean of the metropolis’s life so that they often feel obliged to live. [b]That’s why we always see many managers, workers and other kinds of people so tired that they often seek the aid of psychiatrists. [/b][/size][/font]
[font=Arial][size=12pt] [/size][/font]
[font=Arial][size=12pt]In conclusion, I take it for granted that living in big cities will be full of sighs. Thus, for most of the time, we are always on an arduous journey in seeking such a place, which is the heaven for our heart. There was a time when we lived in the small town, the sky was blue and our heart was clam.[/size][/font]

想和大家讨论一下，像我这里第二段最后的那些排比的问句能算是细节的事例么？还有我第四段开头这样的倒装好不好？是不是不能体现西方人的那种直线思维啊？

还是先把anther，clam之类的错误改了吧……

哦，呵呵，谢谢楼上，嘻嘻~~:lol