查看完整版本: 求拍！macross练写作 (第二篇，No.6)

求拍！macross练写作 (第二篇，No.6)

[size=3][align=left][align=left][font=宋体][size=10pt]6)
It has recently been announced that a new high school may be built in your community. Do you support or oppose this plan? Why? Use specific reasons and details in your answer.[/size][/font][/align][/align][align=left][align=left][font=宋体][size=10pt][/size][/font] [/align][/align][/size][size=3]Words: 355
Time: No limited[/size]
[size=3] [/size]
[size=3]To build a new high school in the community I live in may bring advantages as well as disadvantages. Personally, I tend to support such a construction. There are numerous reasons about my agreement and I would explore the essential ones as fallow.[/size]
[size=3] [/size]
[size=3]The key reason why I support this issue is that to build a high school could improve the quality of education in my community. With the fast development of today’s society, education has become one of the most important aspects that may affect the future of a person. It is said that “good education is the way to success.” Just imagine, the company would hire a student with a doctor’s degree or someone who has never been to school? The answer is of course the former one. Furthermore, students learn their basic knowledge in high school, thus, high school plays the basic role in improving the quality of education. So I agree to build a high school in my community.[/size]
[size=3] [/size]
[size=3]In addition, a new high school may create many new jobs such as guards, cleaners and teachers. Moreover, since the construction has to order workers to construct and transportations to deliver the building materials, some other jobs are created. As a lot of people in the community are in debt and they do not have jobs, to build such a school could give them opportunity to gain a proper job and earn their living. In short, the problem of unemployment near where I live could be solved. That is another reason why I agree with the construction.[/size]
[size=3] [/size]
[size=3]Admittedly, as a proverb goes, “there are two sides to every question” which means the inferiority coexists its superiority. Think about the salary given to the staff of the new school and money spend on establishing the building, such cost will be considerable. In other words, it might be a burden to the local government. However, in my opinion, this trouble is not worth concerning compared with the great advantages it causes. [/size]
[size=3] [/size]
[size=3]In conclusion, I hold a positive view in such an issue because although there may be disadvantages, the benefits are obvious and influential.[/size]

:victory:
   我觉得思路清晰
      逻辑也不错！！   哇~~  


   

    嘿嘿~~  要是第一段先不直接切题  加点rephrase promp 和  background information 就是完美啦！！ 哈哈~~（仅仅是个人愚见，供参考）


   哦~~ 鸡蛋里面挑骨头的话  第三段稍显凌乱~~  嘿嘿~~:loveliness:

回复 2# 的帖子

[size=2]Thanks!![/size]
[size=2]首段我还是开门见山好了，我不太会引用Back ground.[/size]
[size=2]改了一下：主要修改是加了一段支持观点，变成了3支持：1反对，观点更加明确。[/size]
[size=2]Words: 449  Time: No limited

To build a new high school in the community I live in may bring advantages as well as disadvantages. Personally, I tend to support such a construction. There are numerous reasons about my agreement and I would explore the essential ones as fallow.

The key reason why I support this issue is that to build a high school could improve the quality of education in my community. With the fast development of today’s society, education has become one of the most important aspects that may affect the future of a person. It is said that “good education is the way to success.” Just imagine, the company would hire a student with a doctor’s degree or someone who has never been to school? The answer is of course the former one. Furthermore, students learn their basic knowledge in high school, thus, high school plays the basic role in improving the quality of education. So I agree to build a high school in my community.
[/size]
[size=4][b]Another reason is that to build a new high school in my community can shorten the way the students of my community have to walk. Compared with a long distance to school, a short one has many advantages. One great thing is that students do not have to walk across the streets that are very dangerous because of the traffic. Moreover, it is convenient for the teachers of the high school to get in touch with the students’ parents. This will help the teachers and parents to know better about how their students are going on with their study.
[/b][/size]
In addition, a new high school may create many new jobs such as guards, cleaners and teachers. Moreover, since the construction has to order workers to construct and transportations to deliver the building materials, some other jobs are created. As a lot of people in the community do not have jobs, to build such a school could give them opportunity to gain a proper job and earn their living. In short, the problem of unemployment near where I live could be solved. That is another reason why I agree with the construction.

Admittedly, as a proverb goes, “there are two sides to every question” which means the inferiority coexists its superiority. Think about the salary given to the staff of the new school and money spend on establishing the building, such cost will be considerable. In other words, it might be a burden to the local government. However, in my opinion, this trouble is not worth concerning compared with the great advantages it causes.

In conclusion, I hold a positive view in such an issue because although there may be disadvantages, the benefits are obvious and influential.

[[i] 本帖最后由 macross_36 于 2008-8-29 22:56 编辑 [/i]]