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秋姐在线批改

[size=6][color=red]为了更好帮助小马会员攻克口语，秋姐开通了“在线批改”专栏。[/color][/size]
PxJ9Uu(^ R@h [size=6][color=red]小马们可以把写好的口头作文发上来。集中在这里批改。[/color][/size]
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V's [[i] 本帖最后由 秋姐 于 2008-8-29 07:00 编辑 [/i]]

:kiss: :kiss: :kiss: ?7d9S@tD4o5w
强烈支持！！

?D2S.iik 秋姐不要怕，我是女滴

在原来的帖子我是沙发现在不是了
W4|zc2`R;E 对不起我先水一个
dDcP#^m Z0e 就是秋姐太好了  
MjRfZ!p|} 怎么这么好啊n&Q.B1HoE Oe

2U8s3tFY'D 秋姐给我看看这两篇有没有太牵强  一个是我最想学skill  还有一个最珍贵的礼物  还有就是decision我也想用这个 我就是把你的文章开头给弄来了
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J*L@9m5w 我总觉得我这个太牵强了  +bdDU![x?'[
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I would like to learn how to play the guitar. Now I can’t play a musical instrument （背景介绍）,so this would be a new skill for me. It would be a good skill to have because I could take my guitar to parties and play music for my friends and me. I will appreciate my own music.  It can relax my mind. I always have a great efficiency on study after appreciating music. By playing the guitar, I can learn something about rhythm, which teaches me how to balance the complicated situation. Playing the guitar is worldwide language without any translation, by play the guitar we can share their emotion with different people around the world. That is way I want to learn.
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I would like to talk about guitar I bought 2 years ago. Even though I spent my first salary on it, I felt happy. I always take my guitar to parties and play music for my friends and me. I often appreciate my own music. It can relax my mind. I always have a great efficiencyon study after appreciating music. By playing the guitar, I can learn something about rhythm, which teaches me how to balance the complicated situation. Playing the guitar is worldwide language without any translation, by play the guitar we can share their emotion with different people around the world. That is way I think guitar is special subjects for me.

[quote]原帖由 [i]duoduo1991[/i] 于 2008-8-29 10:33 发表 [url=http://bbs.xiaoma.com/redirect.php?goto=findpost&pid=212029&ptid=20237][img]http://bbs.xiaoma.com/images/common/back.gif[/img][/url]w:F)\OrZ!L`'\Y
在原来的帖子我是沙发现在不是了sy,G8k*h
对不起我先水一个1c:BZ+MdhL:`
就是秋姐太好了  py E p*nmh2H^f
怎么这么好啊
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'p(vxslAB!c O 秋姐给我看看这两篇有没有太牵强  一个是我最想学skill  还有一个最珍贵的礼物  还有就是decision我也想用这个 我就是把你的 ... [/quote]/q pRQ3T
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I would like to learn how to play the guitar. Now I can’t play a musical instrument (背景介绍) ,so this would be a new skill for me. It would be a good skill to have because 【I could take my guitar to parties and play music for my friends and me. I will appreciate my own music, [color=red]which [/color]can relax my mind. I always [color=red]become more[/color][color=red] productive at work[/color] after appreciating music. By playing the guitar, I can learn something about rhythm, which teaches me how to [color=red]cope with[/color] the complicated situation. [color=red]M[/color][color=red]usic[/color] is [color=red]the universal[/color] language without any translation, by play[color=red]ing[/color] the guitar we can share emotion with different people around the world. 】That is [color=red]why[/color] I want to learn[color=red] it[/color].
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I would like to talk about [color=red]the [/color]guitar I bought 2 years ago. Even though I spent my first[color=red] month's[/color] salary on it, I felt happy. 【I always take my guitar to parties and play music for my friends and me. I will appreciate my own music, [color=red]which [/color]can relax my mind. I always [color=red]become more[/color][color=red] productive at work[/color] after appreciating music. By playing the guitar, I can learn something about rhythm, which teaches me how to [color=red]cope with[/color] the complicated situation. [color=red]M[/color][color=red]usic[/color] is [color=red]the universal[/color] language without any translation, by play[color=red]ing[/color] the guitar we can share emotion with different people around the world. 】That is why I think guitar is [color=red]a[/color] special [color=red]subject [/color]for me.
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【】细节套用的方法不错。j$uHa0c#v~~\a
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[[i] 本帖最后由 秋姐 于 2008-8-29 12:53 编辑 [/i]]

啊，，，这个太费劲了，，实在是不知道要怎么写，，

u2@1b|@o [font=Times New Roman][size=4][color=red]the most important characteristic for a team member[/color]_;gS
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In my point of view, the most important quality to be a team member is the ability to communicate effectively. r;hE%{ ? nw
By communicate effectively, I mean, a team member should be talented in both speaking and listening skills. Speaking effectively means presenting views clearly and concisely. This will contribute to the overall efficiency of the team. On the other hand, effective listening show respect to others and promotes harmony within the team. 4|m;A!T\R7S2I
As you may know, effective interpersonal communication is vital to the smooth functioning of any task team. Therefore, a team member must be talented in interpersonal skills, including both speaking and listening skills.[/size][/font]&?'pq f-dOz
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[[i] 本帖最后由 popcornwl 于 2008-8-29 20:30 编辑 [/i]]

秋姐请问可不可以发录音上来给你听啊？

无限感谢

秋姐啊,你是神,明天开始写模版,要麻烦你了

秋姐太好了~正愁呢..

喜欢跟室友一起住还是单独住0r(F+W3\^?f
I prefer to live with roomates.
)Y\ xB:a9`+B,Ha First of all,roomates mean good friends.I will never feel lonely and bored if I live with roomates.In our spare time,we could hang out,talk with each other and share our ideas and hobbies.All of these can help me relax and relieve the pressure from work and study. `7l{B]l
Furthermore,living with roomates could also teach me how to get along with others well,and how to protect my own privacy at the same time.This would help me improve my impersonal and communication skills,which is very important for the future career.

假期休息还是学习$@)x_e#W LwK
The answer to this question is not definite,depending on personal situation.0tG'j"y:y~
After a whole semester's study,relaxation is a good choice for many students.But that doesn't mean a waste of  time.They can hang out and communicate with friends,or plan a trip to some cities or somewhere they're longing for.All of these can help them expand horizens and enrich their lives.9E b1p)cef
But as for those who are poor in some subjects,it's better to spend more time studying.Otherwise,they would fall behind their classmates next semester.That might make them unhappy.
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写口语段子，写作文都很难，细节部分总是脑子空空的。英语的输出不容易唉...

谢谢 秋姐  !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!:kiss:

[quote]原帖由 [i]popcornwl[/i] 于 2008-8-29 20:28 发表 [url=http://bbs.xiaoma.com/redirect.php?goto=findpost&pid=212273&ptid=20237][img]http://bbs.xiaoma.com/images/common/back.gif[/img][/url]
&J/F*yqt9V1x-J 啊，，，这个太费劲了，，实在是不知道要怎么写，，
0mkIk Xl+R the most important characteristic for a team member
pm"osJe6I}I In my point of view, the most important quality to be a team member is the ability to communicate ... [/quote]
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[font=Times New Roman][size=4][color=#ff0000]the most important characteristic [color=blue]of [/color]a team membernM nJk!m%xzg%b3M
[/color]In my point of view, the most important quality [color=red]of[/color] a team member is the ability to communicate effectively. [/size][size=0px]6 S2 O6 f% R- B# L[/size]n,n;feD#WN
[size=4]I mean, a team member should be talented in both speaking and listening skills. Speaking effectively means presenting views clearly and concisely. This will contribute to the overall efficiency of the team. On the other hand, effective listening show[color=red]s[/color] respect to others and promotes harmony within the team. [/size][size=0px]6 E6 X( w  S9 {/ k" s% I[/size]3dz#[HZ;x&?)C.B
[size=4]As you may know, effective interpersonal communication is vital to the smooth functioning of any task team. Therefore, a team member must be talented in interpersonal skills, including both speaking and listening skills.[/size][/font][size=0px]'[/size]

[quote]原帖由 [i]eminemcyz[/i] 于 2008-8-29 21:27 发表 [url=http://bbs.xiaoma.com/redirect.php?goto=findpost&pid=212298&ptid=20237][img]http://bbs.xiaoma.com/images/common/back.gif[/img][/url]ea(\$S,r&jB'd
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秋姐请问可不可以发录音上来给你听啊？ [/quote]
C8s-N,hwB#J? 8g*NGf0nQ
传到这里[url=http://bbs.xiaoma.com/viewthread.php?tid=20339&extra=page%3D1&frombbs=1]http://bbs.xiaoma.com/viewthread.php?tid=20339&extra=page%3D1&frombbs=1[/url]

[quote]原帖由 [i]wangyi217[/i] 于 2008-8-30 10:35 发表 [url=http://bbs.xiaoma.com/redirect.php?goto=findpost&pid=212594&ptid=20237][img]http://bbs.xiaoma.com/images/common/back.gif[/img][/url]+zF e&z+]ILdmAT
喜欢跟室友一起住还是单独住(sM#k#\%j8Y%@^n
I prefer to live with roomates.
4ytI@3X First of all,roomates mean good friends.I will never feel lonely and bored if I live with roomates.In our spare time,we could hang out,talk ... [/quote]
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-_2j!nk c)h\@ I prefer to live with room[color=red]m[/color]ates.
wl~9O.a1K4? t@;_ [color=red]Generally[/color],roomates [color=red]are[/color] good friends. I will never feel lonely and bored if I live with roomates. In our spare time,we could hang out, talk with each other and share our ideas and [color=red]interests[/color]. All of these can help me relax and relieve the pressure from work and study.
R3E3D+J3E!Mejgt Furthermore,living with room[color=red]m[/color]ates could also teach me how to get along [color=#ff0000]well[/color] with others, and how to protect my own privacy at the same time.This would help me improve my impersonal and communication skills,which is very important for[color=red] my personal growth and even[/color] the future career.

[quote]原帖由 [i]wangyi217[/i] 于 2008-8-30 10:43 发表 [url=http://bbs.xiaoma.com/redirect.php?goto=findpost&pid=212595&ptid=20237][img]http://bbs.xiaoma.com/images/common/back.gif[/img][/url]z#?W"RX5[X
假期休息还是学习
T/L,aakB&E The answer to this question is not definite,depending on personal situation.Od5_[csr
After a whole semester's study,relaxation is a good choice for many students.But that doesn't mean a was ... [/quote]
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9G2_+H[$hg Cu.i The answer to this question is not definite,depending on personal situation.*Uc+]fS;P]
After a whole semester's study, relaxation is a good choice for many students. But that doesn't mean a waste of  time.They can hang out and communicate with friends, or plan a trip to some cities or somewhere they [color=red]have been[/color] longing for. All of these can help them expand horizens and enrich their lives.[size=0px]6 H6 P3 V" v6 W8 e2 c* n" p8 X$ u[/size]OV"j%R:j;rWJ
But as for those who are poor [color=red]at[/color] some subjects, it's better to spend more time studying. Otherwise, they would fall behind their classmates next semester.That might make them unhappy.

今天是   EVENT 类
P:qQH"s J&iv.N     [size=5]1， experience [/size]{8HS#KaJ6Rd+z
[size=5]      the event i am gonna talk about  is  i used to run for student body president of my high school last year[font=Calibri][size=10.5pt]. [size=5]On that day, I have to give an [color=red][color=black]election speech[/color][/color] in front of [color=black]7000[/color] people. [color=black]M[/color][color=red][color=black]y voice[/color] [color=black]couldn’t help[/color][/color][color=black] [color=red][color=black]trembling and my palms kept sweating[/color][/color]. at that moment, i thout i would be a loser.[color=red] [color=black]But, suddenly something came up to my mind. I remembered how many posters with my slogan I had released and how much encouragement I’ve got[/color] [/color][color=black]from my [/color]friends and teachers. With that, all my[color=black] [color=#ff0000][/color][color=black]confidence reappered [/color]again! At last I gave a very successful speech and won the competition[/color][color=black] [/color][color=red][color=black]with flying colors .[/color][/color][/color][/size][/size][/font][/size]9W*Lt5rD)ph3W;`
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w)K\ `d ocW(d!^ [font=Calibri][size=10.5pt][color=gray][size=5]2,  [/size][size=6]unforgetble  celebration[/size][/color][/size][/font]
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:g|"t(a2Y+YK\5O [font=Calibri][size=10.5pt][color=gray][font=Tahoma][size=12pt][color=#000000][size=5]the event I’m gonna talk about is the centennial ceremony of our  high school last year. It was incredible. because on that day,I saw the school leaders and many special guests, including some famous scientists. Besides, the school gave us a three-day vacation. So we didn’t have to attend classes and it helped us relax and relieve the pressure from study. but beyond that ,some celebrities were invited to give us a performance right on campus. There were all kinds some of programs: singing, dancing, comedy, opera.  we all joined it and this centennial was really fantastic and so unforgettable![/size][/color][/size][/font]7?[ x Mu'K
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L*[1eF;J3yiR"o [size=5]Favorite time of a year =festival [/size][/size][/font]
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In my view, my favorite time in a year would be in spring festival. First of all, it refers to as Chinese’s new year and is time for family reunion. The family members will try to get together no matter how far they are from each other. Besides the most important thing on spring eve is to have a reunion feast with family members. It is
4cL:}3T5ZsI traditional to eat fish dishes because it means the whole  family members will have good fortune and safety in the coming year . But beyond that, in the spring festival , only children are able to get lots of pock money and also have a long break. it help me get refreshed and release my stress from my studies. Thus I’am definitely into spring festival.[/font]
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9Ylg7CkKf   the important decisionN SL3e3zquj
  from my point of view, the most important decision i  had ever made was to go abroad to acquire further education. why is it important to me? first of all, i think i belong to those people who like traivling different places , seeing various things and making different sorts of friends.  so  the unite states might be righ coutry to me.
q4j7D!?7_ bCb    on the other hand, if i posses a famous universy's diploma, it is boud to help me to hunt for a jot more quickly and easier.  meanwhile, experience  other culture life and custerms provides me with more broader perspective on life and enrich my knowledge.  
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      　　谢谢　秋姐　修改　　同时　托友门可以一起　讨论哈　　　促进大家共同进步
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秋姐  我本来是自己开了一个帖子的  但我想还是 来这里  
6Fp5Z;Pef.u   呵呵   谢谢 大好人    秋姐  请问你在哪里当老师啊 ？

从今天开始要麻烦秋姐了

今天写的T1的人的方面,请秋姐指正,先谢谢谢谢谢谢谢
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d|}0Vz9g In my point, some characters are essential for …….`.x,~'OO\'N

&j`)Jh7{ XL${%L2t First, as a ……., the one should be loyal and faithful to ……., if a …… owns such character, s/he will take their responsibility for ……. And do their best to protect ……, also they will never cheat and forsake ……. facing danger. They can be with ……. in sunshine and in shade.9RE ~2lKq8g+_
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To be a good ……, the one also should be humorous so that people will not feel boring with him/her, people would love to spend more time with someone who can make them laugh and is fun to be around, I mean, humor is attraction. Also a humorous … will make …be more active and excited, and at last will contribute to a more efficient work."Ga6kB!u
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Another reason why I admire him/her is that his/her tenacity and confidence. (Another important character is for …. is tenacity and confidence), facing challenge they are always strong and brave rather than giving up or being scared, you know, without confidence people will have no chance to win. Moreover in a team, those people will be samples, leading others to fight and conquer.2i3O,]vs2M~ a~
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At last but not least, another point I value is to be virtuous. I mean they will not do some evil things to others by design, but always be enthusiastic to help others. They always have lots of friends and also others will see them as treasure.
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NE^m]?p That is why I ……..
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K$Lfj?,N As I said above, the characters are important for a …

忘记说了,里面的.....都是指代某人,

拜谢秋姐，厚着脸皮贴上来了，呵呵。
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Events:eL5R8E*Z-D-H
2,important decision[XJ0g1T"Uh
~choose the L.A. major~(career, decision, future, objective)
hORh7e#W$I;Np8[I I decided to choose the L.A. as my major after I graduated from high school, and I consider this is an important decision for me. In my perspective, this decision is crucial for several reasons. The main reason is that I like drawing. I was interested at painting when I was a child and I think I am really good at it. Another reason worth mentioning is that I am also fond of botany. I am always fascinated by the lovely beautiful flowers and the shadow made by the big tree.
i:{u^}ekow| These two aspects would help me achieve in the major of L.A. Additionally, I could use the knowledge of L.A. to refine the environment and that is one of my aims.
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;I]-j"c-o ZE2f 4. 描述一件印象深刻的celebration or moment.    05.12.16
3H4g/b5c?8UL#V Celebration:kLw(n3b1S A2h
A few days ago, the 2008 Beijing Olympic Games has ended up, leave us an incredible and exceptional opening ceremony. I have to say that it is the most impressive thing in my mind. In my perspective, this ceremony is impressive for several reasons. The first factor that shocked me is that there are thousands of people participate in the play making the ceremony a great spectacle. Another reason worth mentioning is that the ceremony is played in a great stadium call the Bird Nest. It is so tremendous in size and over 90,000 spectators were there watching the ceremony. A splendid vision was so made.
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[[i] 本帖最后由 macross_36 于 2008-8-30 23:21 编辑 [/i]]

[quote]原帖由 [i]charlene1990725[/i] 于 2008-8-30 20:09 发表 [url=http://bbs.xiaoma.com/redirect.php?goto=findpost&pid=212837&ptid=20237][img]http://bbs.xiaoma.com/images/common/back.gif[/img][/url]H3M*G `ne?2@9SR
秋姐  我本来是自己开了一个帖子的  但我想还是 来这里  
Xk%A+m Vlt   呵呵   谢谢 大好人    秋姐  请问你在哪里当老师啊 ？ [/quote]
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+`"W1G@\? 这次的修好了。见原帖。
$P5N"x:Ij1?U} 以后的就发到这里吧。