查看完整版本: 我也来写住small town还是big city。想不出结尾了。还请牛人们帮我改一下

我也来写住small town还是big city。想不出结尾了。还请牛人们帮我改一下

There is never a consensus among people as to live in a small town or in a metropolis. There are quite numerous people announcing that they prefer to live in countryside, in fact however, are getting pleasure from the convenience, massive culture and fast information of a big city. Unfortunately, they just fail to notice it.
  I remember once a scholar held it in his essay that the metropolis went to the core of what it meant to be “modern”. This point coincides with mine. Therefore, I would like to say that living in a big city might have more advantages than living in a small town, because we exist in the modern society.
  Metropolises represent the spirit of industrial and informational society, for all walks of lives, meaning all kinds of wisdom, gather in cities. As we are modern people, we tightly relate to the byproduct provided by cities. Even though some people live in countryside, they seldom have possibility to avoid the products and information from big cities. In brief, living in big cities equals first-time reports, first-class living standard and superb platform of working environment.
    Currently, I might say that city constructors are more aware of the living environment and facilities than in any time in industrial history. For instance, parks and small grasslands can be seen everywhere in the city nowadays. Gyms can take care of our body. Factories are moving to the suburban area. Roads are more in quantities and wider than ever before. Big city is no longer the synonym of pollution and dark sky any more but the meaning of higher living quality.

第一次正经地写托福的作文，还是看了上一篇帖子受了很大的启发，觉得 it's high time了。真心希望牛人们帮我改一下，给我点建议和批评。还有我不知道这样的文章该怎么结尾比较不会太土。

有这么几点问题：
1.字数过少，貌似不到400都没法拿好成绩
2.例证不够详实，需要填充
3.没有详细的例子，ETS喜欢详细的说明
4.单词最好书面化，但也不要过难，ETS的BOSS不一定认识的

以上为小弟的个人观点，如果有什么错误，希望讨论

回复 1# 的帖子

建议你看一下OG上面的几个例文 就知道自己大概多少分 差距在哪？

我看了，觉得我经常写出来的就是3分以下的那种水平。。。看来以后还要多练习啊。。。

多积累~~~作文是靠积累出来的~~~楼主加油~~~

个人觉得结尾不土的办法就是引用名人名言~~~或者是用高级一点的修辞手法（不是排比什么的）像互文什么的，然后这个修辞手法要能够触动人的心灵，不要纯煽情，也不要太理性。就是乍看之下是很震撼，仔细想想，越想越有道理那种。

个人建议，谨供参考哦:lol

谢谢楼上的同学们，明天继续努力！！！马上要开学了，开学就没有时间了。
加油！！！