查看完整版本: 来拍我吧，求人互拍

来拍我吧，求人互拍

[font=Times New Roman]002 Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Parents are the best teachers. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.[/font]
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[font=Times New Roman]With consideration that there are a lot of factors that influence a person from his childhood to adulthood, I think the most important of them is parents, who are the best teacher of a person's life, not only in knowledge of how to survive, but also in the way he act in his future, and the attitude to life.[/font]
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[font=Times New Roman]First of all, parents are the best teacher to instruct how to make life in the world. Since we born, parents are always around us teaching something about lives, such as doing laundries, cooking and so on. What is more, they are also the source of our normal sense of the world. They will introduce certain stars on the sky, moon traveling around earth. So, in this angle, our parents are the teachers of knowledge about surviving.[/font]
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[font=Times New Roman]Also, our parents teach us how to be a person, which would strongly influence our future style of behavior and career. For example, a soldier, as a father, always asks his son to be extreme integrity. because of his serious rules, in most case, it is predictable his son wouldn't cheat in examination.[/font]
[font=Times New Roman]Furthermore, his son would probably be a soldier, too. Therefore, in this angle, parents are the teachers who teach us how to perform in the future.[/font]
[font=Times New Roman] [/font]
[font=Times New Roman]Finally, parents teach us the attitude to life, which benefits us most in my opinion. Consider my experience for example. When I feel depressed, my parents will teach me how to cheer up, while they will teach me how to calm down, if I am in exceed of being proud of success that I have reached. Thus, at a steady pace, I could reach a high goal step by step. Because of that, the attitude which is instructed by them benefits me a lot.[/font]
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[font=Times New Roman]In conclusion, I think parents are the best teachers in this world because nobody will teach you so many, with responsibility especially. What we should do is to care about them and value what they do for us. What is more, to put what they teach us into the real world and achieve high success is the best reward for them.
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我正好也写了这个，先贴上来再看你的

For most of the time, we are always on the arduous way in seeking the answer to this question: Whether parents are the best teacher. Some people maintain that their best teacher is their parent, while some other people may not agree.
From my personal angle alone, my point of view coincides with the former. For one thing, the unconditional love is of great importance to one's development. Parents are the first ones who offer us the unconditional love from the day we came to this world. I still remember the famous film, [i]Forest Gump, [/i]in which the little Gump's mother show him the truth of life and to struggle against any difficulties encountered in one's life. Though born with lower IQ compared with other children, Gump received education with the normal kids with her mother's help. Eventually Gump grew into an successful adult and won a true love.
For another, parents are always guiding us like a shining star through out our lives. Admittedly, at some stages of development,  we try to stay away from these guides. Yet my view, during these stages the fundemental need to be guided by our parents are merely masked or suspended. We might dress up in a strange way in their eyes, which we actually use this style to identify us with our peers. When come to the big decisions in life, say to chose a college or a career, we always turn to our parents for help, for they have the experiences accumulated through age which are the very thing we need.
Admittedly, there are also great teachers in the school who equip us with knowledge. Considering their time and attention are divided to each student, I still believe that parents are the best teachers in our lives.
In conclusion, we can take it for granted that the best teachers in our lives are our parents. Thus, love your parents in time, for you can never reply from the paradise.(329words)

With consideration that there are a lot of factors that influence a person from his childhood to adulthood, I think[color=red]（用in my opinion/in my point of view会不会好一点？还能增加字数:lol ）[/color] the most important [color=red](one)[/color] of them is parents, who are the best teacher[color=red](s)[/color] of[color=red](of改成in)[/color] a person's life, not only in knowledge of how to survive, but also in the way he[color=red]（or she不能重男轻女哦）[/color] act[color=red](s)[/color] in his[color=red](or her)[/color] future, and[color=red] (in)[/color] the attitude to life.
First of all, parents are the best teacher[color=red](s)[/color] to instruct [color=red](us on因为instruct是及物动词)[/color]how to make[color=red](lead a)[/color] life in the world. Since we ([color=red]are)[/color] born, parents are always around us teaching something about lives, such as doing laundries, cooking and so on. What is more, they are also the source of our normal sense of the world. They will introduce [color=red](us introduce是及物动词)[/color] certain stars on the sky, moon [color=red](that)[/color]traveling around [color=red](the)[/color] earth. So, in[color=red](from)[/color] this angle, our parents are the teachers of knowledge about surviving[color=red](survival).[/color]
Also[color=red],(最好用second对应first)[/color] our parents teach us how to be a person, which would strongly influence our future style of [color=red](去掉style of)[/color]behavior and career. For example, a soldier, as a father, always asks his son to be extreme[color=red](ly)[/color] integrity. because of his serious rules, in ost[color=red](?)[/color] case, it is pedictable [color=red](that)[/color]his son wouldn't cheat in examination.
Furthermore, his son would probably be a soldier, too. Therefore, in[color=red](from)[/color] this angle, parents are the teachers who teach us how to perform in the future.
Finally, parents teach us the attitude to life, which benefits us most in my opinion. Consider[color=red](take)[/color] my experience for example. When I feel depressed, my parents will teach me how to cheer up, while they will teach me how to calm down, if I am in exceed of being proud of success that I have reached[color=red](achieve会不会好一点)[/color]. Thus, at a steady pace, I could reach a high[color=red](er)(bigger比较合适吧)[/color] goal step by step. Because of that, the attitude which is instructed by them benefits me a lot.
In conclusion, I think parents are the best teachers in this world because nobody will teach you so many[color=red](much),[/color] with responsibility especially. What we should do is to care about them and value what they do for us. What is more, to put what they teach us into the real world and achieve high[color=red](bigger) [/color]success is the best reward for them.

谢谢，给你改的

[align=center][align=center][font=宋体][size=10.5pt]For most of the time, we are always on the arduous way in seeking the answer to this question: Whether parents are the best teacher. Some people maintain that their best teacher is their parent, while some other people may not agree.
From my personal angle alone, [color=red]my point of view coincides with the former[/color][/size][/font][color=red][font=宋体][size=10.5pt]（觉得有点重复，用个简单的句型就是了亚，the former is more reasonable）[/size][/font][/color][font=宋体][size=10.5pt]. For one thing, the unconditional love is of great importance to one's development. Parents are the first ones who offer us the unconditional love from[color=red]([/color][/size][/font][color=red][font=宋体][size=10.5pt]我的语感告诉我用since好点，你觉得呢)[/size][/font][/color][font=宋体][size=10.5pt] the day we came to this world. I still remember the famous film, [i]Forest Gump, [/i]in which the little Gump's mother show him the truth of life and [color=red]how[/color] to struggle against any difficulties encountered in one's life. Though born with lower IQ compared with other children, Gump received education with the normal kids with her mother's help. Eventually Gump grew into a[color=red]n[/color] successful adult and won a true love.
For another, parents are always guiding us like a shining star through out our lives[/size][/font][font=宋体][size=10.5pt]（[color=blue]good analogy[/color]）. Admittedly, at some stages of development,  we try to stay away from these guides. Yet [color=red]in[/color] my view, during these stages the fund[color=red]a[/color]mental need to be guided by our parents are merely masked or suspended.[color=red] We might dress up in a strange way in their eyes, which we actually use this style to identify us with our peers.[/color][color=red]（多余了吧，最好略写，与主题不太相关）[/color] When come to the big decisions in life, say to cho[color=red]o[/color]se a college or a career, we always turn to our parents for help, for they have the experiences [color=red]accumulated[/color]（[color=red]this point is like Chinese English [/color]） through age which are the very thing we need.
Admittedly, there are also great teachers in the school who equip us with knowledge. Considering their time and attention are divided to each student, I still believe that parents are the best teachers in our lives.
In conclusion, we can [color=blue]take it for granted [/color]that the best teachers in our lives are our parents. Thus, love your parents in time, for you can never [color=red]get[/color][/size][/font][/align][/align][align=center][align=center][font=宋体][size=10.5pt]reply from the paradise.(329words)[/size][/font][/align][/align][font=宋体][size=10.5pt]总体来说，这篇文章写的还行。但是觉得有点没有把道理说清楚，personally。因为主要是论证父母如何是最好的老师，就应该说如何教我们，给于指导，这一点你没有说清楚，比如Gump那段。[/size][/font]
[font=宋体][size=10.5pt]呵呵，值得一提的是我也想到了阿甘，但是不知道恩么表达。[/size][/font]
[font=宋体][size=10.5pt]一起加油吧！！[/size][/font]

回复 4# 的帖子

谢谢你,我也觉得我的例子举得不好,或者说论证很苍白.
我隔两天就会从OG里面挑一篇不同内容的出来写,你若写了可以找我,我们互改,我的blog:
[url]http://princessforever.ycool.com/[/url]
基本上都是T&G的东西

回复 3# 的帖子

想给3楼改帖子的一点建议。。。 就是那个第一个您改的地方，您说吧i think  改成 in my opinion 我感觉不太合适。我在看书的时候看到过 最好在议论文中不要出现i think 等一类的个人观点性的词汇 因为这个是你的文章 不说也知道这个是你的关的 既然是议论文 就要客观一些 最好是用 we 等一类的词汇 如果非要表达的个人的话  最好用 as far as i am concerned

回复 6# 的帖子

谢谢你,以后还要多提意见哈