查看完整版本: 8.3考，还没有找到感觉，请拍～～先发五篇上来，辛苦各位了～

8.3考，还没有找到感觉，请拍～～先发五篇上来，辛苦各位了～

TOPIC: people attend college or university for many different reasons
WORDS: 340          TIME: 00:30:00          DATE: 2008-4-23 12:51:19

People attend university for different reasons, to experience something new, to increase knowledge, etc. They all seem reasonable. But I think a university means far more than a training center where you can gain preparation for a future job, or a library where you can get to know everything from history to chemistry. More importantly, I believe that people go to university for the search of the spirit of studying.

Study is a process that is quite different from learning, and that is the very thing we need to do to make our society go forward. To study means to venture the world of unknown, and this calls for  the ability of asking questions,  the courage of questioning our serens or respectale tutors, and sometimes even the love of solitude.  

How can a person get any of these only through books in a library, or a process of training? A university, where you can get the best education, is just the right place to gain these feelings. That is the reason why we say a university has its own special culture, which effects the way its graduates contribute to the human history.

Take a university in Europe for example. We see graduates from europe tend to be more serious to their work, and that is just because they got the spirit of treating their study careful; On the other hand,an American university might show the fun of doing research, so we can often hear news of American researchers doing some quite distinctive research program. The way of studying is deeply effected by the style of university.


TOPIC: do you agree or disagree with the following statement
parents are the best teachers.use specific reasons and examples to support your answer
WORDS: 348          TIME: 00:26:22          DATE: 2008-5-6 23:08:20

Parents, usually the very first people a child can get to know,  are no wonder the most important teachers in one's life. Sometimes, they are good teachers as well. But it is no garantee that they are the best teacher.

It is widely admitted that schooling is necessary, and that is why people use the rate of schooling to estimate the developement of an area. Then why people all around the globe abandon the old style of home schooling?

First,  not all parents are well-educated. Take the examples of those parents in developing countries. Most of the parents themself can not read or write, how can we force them to teach their children to do so? Even we may assume a well-educated parent, the courses he/she may give this child can not cover a range as wide as that of a school, after all, you can have many teachers specialize in a peticular academic field, but a poet mom might not understand calclus, or a chemist dad might have no idea who Allan Poe is.

Not only that, learning in a child's life involves more than just science and art, to improve personality might be much more important. And this part might differ a lot for any single person, so it is quite hard for parents to teach their children all the human virtues the child will need in the future. We can not sure that a child can learn all that from a school, but at least they can get a chance to feel the virtues from different people. We all have the experience of picking up a little something nice from our friend or classmate, that is how we are becoming more polite and patient everyday.

As for my own experience, I learnt a lot from my parents, but among my teachers, I can also see my first-grade-year English teacher, my college classmate,  my friend from Korea and even the bus-driver of our school bus. No doubt my parents are the most important teachers of my life, but I think the best teacher is the society.

TOPIC: food has become easier to prepare.has this improved people's life?
WORDS: 363          TIME: 00:30:00          DATE: 2008-6-23 16:07:00

People might argue that the time saved from preparing food can be used to do other things, so we can finish cooking earlier and enjoy a better life. But is this true? I myself think the effect is just the opposite.

Think about it: at Christmas time, the whole family stay together to prepare for a big dinner, this whole precess might take a couple of hours or so. But sablings help each other to bake the cookies, husband and wife chat while making the apple pie. You can feel the atmosphere becoming better than those working days when every member of the family just quickly finish cooking and finish eating. The time cooking take actually improved the way people live, at least for a family.

My personal favorite time is the New Year Eve, I just love to stay with my parents and make dumplings or Niangao, it is not the eating parts that matters, more importantly, I got to chat with my parents and shares my life with them back in college, for me, that is the improvement of life, and it is much more important than just quickly finish cooking and spend time doing something else.

People say, it is impossible to get everything good and leave eveything bad behind. In this case, it is the time we save from preparing food the good thing we get, and the bad thing is just hiding somewhere. Health is one of the bad things. I heard news of people getting sick because the new "time saving" cooking process is not good for their health. This is so going in the wrong direction from the essential goal of making life easier by saving time.

The new things poeple use for saving time for preparing food might be not so good, like the microwave oven, it can be really dangerous, and the taste is not so good as well.

Of course, we sure can save time from cooking to do some other things we like. Go watch a movie, see the new downtown club, or just swimming with friends. But, you have to think before save time to cook, which is better for you.

TOPIC: knowledge gained from books and experience
WORDS: 356          TIME: 00:28:03          DATE: 2008-6-30 9:29:00

If the students who are thirst for knowledge are like flowers waiting to bloom, I think knowledge gained from experience and knowledge gained from books are just like the sunshine and rainfall, neither can the flowers live without.

It is admittedly that knowledge gained from experience is quite important, for this kind of knowledge is a direct touch with the world, like a baby, we can not expect he/she to read a book, but the baby sure can learn, by touching or experiencing the outside world.

But for us, the situation is a little different. I maintain that learing from books is the more important source of gaining knowledge.

When learning about different countries, no doubt we can travel, but is there always enough time for us to travel around the whole globe? When learning about long novels, can we really spend 5 or 10 years to write one by ourselves? When learning about lions, and we really risk our lives just to get close to observe them? If these situations all become true, I think my Mom will be happy that I do not know anything about geography or zoology. But, on the other hand, since we have books, all these long or dangerous situations can be solved. Just buy 3 books, you can lie on your bed and enjoy the knowledge.

The advantage of learning from books is far more. When being a first time learner, the most difficult problem is usually not how to learn, but what to learn. Then book is like a guide, telling you where to go, helping you to avoid wrong directions. Take physics for example, a book can wipe out the theories that have been proved wrong. But by directly observing the world, your eyes might conceal you, reaching to a wrong conclusion that the sun is moving around the earth, and that the moon itself can give out light.

Of course, just reading a book without practising can make students into book shelves. To make a student a student, we need to gain knowledge from both the sources, more from the books, and practice to gain experience.

TOPIC: build a factory
WORDS: 288          TIME: 00:29:36          DATE: 2008-7-1 9:10:30

This new factory will defintely bring a lot of adventages--more jobs available, the improvement of the local economics, and residents might use the products from the factory.

With all the adventages listed above, I still do not support the factory, for besides all the adventages, we  can not ignore the biggest disadventage--the pollution the factory might bring.

Imagine children playing in the sunshine, flowers blooming, and birds singing, all these will go if the area is polluted. I grew up in a neighborhood where there was a big factory nearby, and all that I can remember is my Mom asking me to go home quickly and not to stay outside. The factory stole my childhood, I do not want it to steal my children's again.

My grandfather passed away when I was a little girl, I still remember in his last days, he used to cough badly. This was caused by his early hard life, but made more serious by the air pollution from the factory. I think if he could live in a cleaner neighborhood, he could enjoy a better life.

Why do people need a better job or better financial situation? To live a better life. But what is the standard of better life? I believe any rational people would put health in the first place. I read news about the similar situations all the time, residents seldom agree to build the factory. "We like the blue skies better than anything else"people say. That is also what I feel.

If the factory turn the white clouds grey, turn the colorful flowers black, or turn our innocent children unhappy, it is the end of living and the beginning of surviving. Just let us keep our lives going.

首先声明，我水平不咋地，以下只是我个人观点，不对的地方大家指正。
第一篇
先说优点，观点很好you tell study from learning,至少我写这篇文章的时候没有想到这样的观点，呵呵。
语法错误有若干处，比如questioning our serens （也可能是我词汇有限，在word里都报错），treating their study careful，which effects the way
你的长句太多，看起来很费劲，不够流畅，有些短语比如more importanyly和on the other hand感觉是硬塞进去的，前后的内容并不能够成什么逻辑关系。
论点太单薄，层次感不强。

只看了第一篇, 论证单薄,第3段其实没有任何内容

How can a person get any of these only through books in a library, or aprocess of training? [color=Magenta]A university, where you can get the besteducation, is just the right place to gain these feelings.[/color] That is the[size=4][color=Red]reason[/color][/size] why we say a university has its own special culture, whicheffects the way its graduates contribute to the human history.

那个reason,你指的是那一个呢? 是上面粉红色的那句话么? 那句话可不能做reason,太牵强了, 就那个粉红句子, 我可以问"why the university is the right place to gain these feelings?", 你没有为你这个粉红色结论做解释,这个解释不是小事,这和你论证的中心息息相关!由于没有解释,所以粉红色句子和[color=Red]reason[/color]之间逻辑是牵强的. 因此你必须在粉红色句子后头说理,举例. 证明粉红色句子是对的,然后你再说 "that is the reason why we say a university.....",这样文章的逻辑就顺了.

不可以任意给出一个你想要的结论,然后再把这个结论用作你的论据来证明别的,这和数学证明是一样的.

此外,同意楼上的所说, on the one hand, on the other hand用在你这里可不太合适, 说的是两个事情,而不是一个事情的两个方面.

谢谢楼上～

是这样的，想表达智者来着，就是siren，结果没写太对……
其它的论点，层次和逻辑问题正是让我苦恼很久的问题啊。我是一年前考的G，然后看托福写作，觉得又像gre的issue，又好像不是，所以一直很混乱。我想问一下，我现在是不是还是应该像准备issue那样去准备托福作文呢，感觉那样准备的话，可能逻辑之类都会有个提升～谢谢啦～

你去看看twe185的满分范文,然后你就知道如何架构文章,如何论证了,基本都是3(开头)-5(论点1)-5(论点2)-5(论点3)-3(结论),其中数字表示用的句子数,当然可以做变化,比如36663结构,这样还可以保证字数.

至于论证,你看别人的逻辑是怎么走的,其实也就那么几种逻辑走势,记下来,再练一练,就ok了.