查看完整版本: 第一次托福独立作文。。。。哈欠~不好意思先睡了

第一次托福独立作文。。。。哈欠~不好意思先睡了

Topic5
According to the latest statistics released by China Daily, about 78% of Chinese people are living around at least one factory. Doubtlessly, factories are playing an important role in the modern society. They are the places our clothes were made in, the places labors work in, and even for some people, the places they lived in. So here comes the question “Will you be glad if a factory is built in your neighborhood?” From where I am standing, the impacts of building a factory near my neighborhood are largely positive.
Admittedly, a factory will create a sequence of problems to my neighborhood. It will have more or less negative impacts on the environment, for instance, it may pollute the river, make unbearable noises, and release waste gas to the air. However with some modern techniques, the negative impacts are mostly avoidable. And more important, it will bring far more benefits to my neighborhood.
For one thing, the building of a factory will save outcome for our community. The reasons are as follows: First, the investigators always build other basic facilities such as roads, sewerages and even schools, when they investigate in a factory. That means we don’t need to build some new basic facilities paid by our community; second, the utility bills can be divided, and we may pay much fewer than we ever paid. Yizhuang, a community in Beijing is a perfect example. The investigators from all over the world not only brought factories but also built basic facilities, especially schools. The children of both new-coming employees and native people can study in high leveled schools. So, to save our finance, accepting a factory is a right decision.
For another thing, the building of a factory improves the local economy. Several possible explanations can be provided: First, factory workers usually spend huge money in the community. The workers will dine out, rent apartments, do shopping and do entertainments; second, the building of a factory will provide job opportunities. In brief, the building of a factory will offer a new chance of a financial boom to our community. After a difficult decade of depression, our community does need an utter change of local economy.
From what has been discussed above, we may safely draw a conclusion that we should support the plan of building a large factory near our community, because it will bring us some free basic facilities and benefit our local economy. As Premier Deng wisely put it,” Make the best of everything” we should explore its benefits to the full extent to promote the interests of our community.

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According to the latest statistics released by China Daily, about 78%of Chinese people are living around at least one factory. Doubtlessly,factories are playing an important role in the modern society. Theyare the places our clothes were made in, the places labors work in, andeven for some people, the places they lived([color=Red]live[/color]) in. So here comes thequestion “Will you be glad if a factory is built in your neighborhood?”From where I am standing, the impacts of building a factory near myneighborhood are largely positive.
Admittedly, a factory will create a sequence of problems to myneighborhood. It will have more or less negative impacts on theenvironment, for instance, it may pollute the river, make unbearablenoises, and release waste gas to the air. However with some moderntechniques, the negative impacts are mostly avoidable. And moreimportant([color=Red]importantly[/color]), it will bring far more benefits to my neighborhood.
For one thing, the building of a factory will save outcome for ourcommunity. The reasons are as follows: First, the investigators alwaysbuild other basic facilities such as roads, sewerages and even schools,when they investigate in a factory. That means we don’t need to build[color=Red][color=Black]some[/color][/color]
new basic facilities paid by our community; second, the utilitybills can be divided, and we may pay much fewer than we ever paid.Yizhuang, a community in Beijing is a perfect example. Theinvestigators from all over the world not only brought factories butalso built basic facilities, especially schools. The children of bothnew-coming employees and native([color=Red]local[/color]) people can study in [color=Red]high leveled[/color]([color=Red]什么意思?[/color])schools. So, to save our finance ([color=Red]expenditure[/color]), accepting a factory is a rightdecision.
For another thing, the building of a factory improves the localeconomy. Several possible explanations can be provided: First, factoryworkers usually spend huge ([color=Red]amount of[/color])money in the community. The workers willdine out, rent apartments, do shopping and do entertainments; second,the building of a factory will provide job opportunities. In brief, thebuilding of a factory will offer a new chance of a financial boom toour community. After a difficult decade of depression, our communitydoes need an utter change of local economy.
From what has been discussed above, we may safely draw a conclusionthat we should support the plan of building a large factory near ourcommunity, because it will bring us some free basic facilities andbenefit our local economy. As Premier Deng wisely put it,” Make thebest of everything” we should explore its benefits to the full extentto promote the interests of our community.

论证挺好的, 但是句子有点简单,可以用些好看的句子.此外就是某些词语复现次数多了,可以试着把词语同义替换一下.

high-level 高水平
huge money是史禹教的，应该没错

谢了~