查看完整版本: 帮帮我吧..＝)

恩...第一个例子说Wise可以更好的体现中心
第二个例子我是想做一下对比....呵呵................其实当时演练的情景是这样的: 我急急忙忙跑下楼 别人安安静静的走
:Q  我出了校门尴尬死了
                          ~谢谢啦~

SAT Essay ____6____06/19/08

[b]Prompt 6[/b]

[i]Think carefully about the issue presented in the following excerpt and the assignment below.[/i]
   
      [b]While some people promote competition as the only way to achieve success, others emphasize the power of cooperation. Intense rivalry at work or play or engaging in competition involving ideas or skills may indeed drive people either to avoid failure or to achieve important victories. In a complex world, however, cooperation is much more likely to produce significant, lasting accomplishments.[/b]

[b]Assignment: [u]Do people achieve more success by cooperation than by competition?[/u][/b] Plan and write an essay in which you develop your point of view on this issue. Support your position with reasoning and examples taken from your reading, studies, experience, or observations.

[b]My Essay:[/b]

     In our very first math lesson, teachers told us that an apple add another apple is two apples. But that is only in Mathematics. When achieving success, one plus one is bigger than two. There is a hidden factor called cooperation. It helps people achieve more success than competition.
     I had a personal experience about cooperation. Last time when I was in summer camp, we had an activity called survival. We were divided into groups off three and sent to different places. But we were heading to the same place. All of us were over self-confident teenagers. Even we were in the same team, we still seldom talk to each other. We cooked our food separately, find our boats separately. We all wanted to win but we all wanted to be the best of three. The rule that the fastest person who gets to the endpoint will get the highest price of the team forced each of us always wanted the get in the front of the team. Well this made our team went faster and faster. No doubt that our team gets near to the end point the fastest. We could see the flag and even smell the victory. But, a dark and tall wall blocked our way to our victory, actually, my victory. Three of us were trying to jump or climb over the wall. But the wall was just too high and too smooth. It was a three meters high wall. We couldn't even reach the top of the wall. We can feel that other people are coming this way. But we just can't get over the wall. As we looked at each other, the same idea almost pop out of our mind at the same time: cooperation. "But who first?" I asked. None of us wanted to give of the first place. We quickly decided by flipping coins. Unfortunately, the other teammate got the chance to get in first. So I and the other "unfortunate" teammate pushed his feet up in the air together. As he was able to get on the top, he flipped over and landed on the other side of the wall. To our surprise, the three of us got the same price at last. But the things I learned are more valuable than the price I got. Cooperation is an important way to achieve success.
     Not only in success, cooperation also works for survive, too. Tigers and wolfs hunt food together so the food will be easily caught. Elephants and birds live together so that elephants can get rid of the louses and the birds won't get hungry. Try to think that if these animals are competitors. None of them will survive. This is why cooperation is important. Cooperation needs people to gather and it needs people to sacrifice. But People will achieve more success when they cooperate. Cooperation is the power.

[[i] 本帖最后由 smalllab 于 2008-6-22 02:01 编辑 [/i]]

那个..叫  端木·宇  的GG和叫  二妮  的小MM
看完不要生气哦:L  
这篇合作的文章实在难写:'(

其实写得不错哦

其实我觉得你未必要在文章一开头就决定支持哪个观点
这篇文章中前面一半其实体现的是竞争的优点   后面一半体现的是合作

我不是太清楚sat写作有没有这样的要求  但是考虑问题全面可能会好写一点
拿这篇文章 竞争使组内的进度加快 更早的到达终点前一站   合作让彼此登顶成功

适度的合作和竞争 都有助于成功  不是吗？

当然我说的这种思路可能需要更大的思维量和字数用来说清楚观点  要求比较高 如果你觉得目前这个状况做不到的话 千万别强求 可以先写好一个方面的论述  等实力强大了 再开始也不玩（毕竟这个写作思路是gre里面看到的）
anyway  这篇文章不错哦  继续努力


btw 你应该叫2妮JJ哦～～～

是漂亮可爱的二妮姐姐哦~！

嗯~！来晚了，端端已经说的很好。

我再说两句，就是，有很多题目虽然看上去都是2选一但其实他又很多不同~
比如，有些必须只能选之一，因为只有一个是正确，是受公理认可的。有些则可以双边讨论。

单边的好处就是观点明确，双边的好处就是好写占字数~

所以我给楼主的建议是，在写所有文章之前，想好你要写单边，还是双边。
而且有自己的写作套路，这样会省时间。
就像端端说的那样，你前半部分也写了竞争的好处，说实话，让人们觉得虽然你的论点明天，但论据没有那么明确~！~！

所以，也许这篇难写的文章写双边也是不错的~！

试试吧。

楼主呀楼主，你很棒~！

回24楼： 恩 谢谢
          SAT里面不能写两面的作文 这边老师说是只能支持一面的观点 呵呵 写两面我还不够水平...
                   对了 我的意思是 MM=美眉 :L   GG=帅哥 的意思  貌似我落伍了


回25楼： 谢谢~ 这回的事例又是万金油 --！ 叙事太长 结论太短 会改正滴~

SAT Essay ____7____06/20/08

[b]Prompt 7[/b]

[i]Think carefully about the issue presented in the following excerpt and the assignment below.[/i]

        [b]Sometimes it is necessary to challenge what people in authority claim to be true. Although some respect for authority is ,no doubt, necessary in order for any group or organization to function, questioning the people in charge-even if they are experts or leaders in their fields-makes us better thinkers. It forces all concerned to defend old ideas and decision and to consider new ones. Sometimes it can even correct old errors in thought and out an end to wrong actions.
[/b]
[b]Assignment: [u]Is it important to question the ideas and decisions of people in positions of authority?[/u][/b] Plan and write an essay in which you develop your point of view on this issue. Support your position with reasoning and examples taken from your reading, studies, experience, or observations.

[b]My Essay:[/b]

    When we were still kids, we were questioning everything around us. That was a sign of curiosity and innocent. However, we understood a word "authority" as we grown up. We started to trust everything that "authority" says. Questions have been buried as the time passed by. But it is still important to question everything around us, including authority.
    When I was still a kid in middle school, I considered my teachers and books as authority. I did everything they say and believe in everything they told me. I viewed the teacher's notes and books as the only truth that exists. One day when I was doing my homework. I found that the answer and the process of the problem given by the teacher were different from the reference book. It was the first time that I faced this problem. Both of them were authority to me. But I still can't tell myself that rather the teacher or the reference book was wrong. So I sat there for hours trying to figure out what's wrong with my work. Finally, I found an explanation to convince myself that both of the answer was right. To my surprise, my teacher told us that her answer was wrong the next day, and so was the reference book. When she wrote the answer on the board, I found that my answer was right! I was too busy to find a way to explain that the two "authority" were right. I didn't even think about my answer. I understood that authority has mistakes, too. I shouldn't just believe in authority. Questioning authority is also important.
    Nicolaus Copernicus questioned the authority of geocentric model and made his own heliocentric model. Galileo Galilei questioned the authority of Aristotle. He experiment showed us that dropping things' speed isn't controlled by its mass, but controlled by the gravity. Albert Einstein questioned and denied Newton's theory of force. Without these scientists, I can't imagine what our world will be like today. Questioning authority made big changes to our lives. If one can make questioning authority one's usual practice. It can easily change one's life.
    It is important to question authority. Stop listening to the "authority says", and get use to "according to my experience" is the best way of getting rid of authority. Just like Bertolt Brecht said:" Truth is the child of experience, not of authority."

[[i] 本帖最后由 smalllab 于 2008-6-22 02:03 编辑 [/i]]

对了 老听人说写SAT作文的时候不能写 We
那用什么词代替哦?      "one”这个词好像冷漠了一点 没有什么感情

这次内容上的没什么可说的  很不错啦

sat写作本来就文体不限   完全可以当作是记叙文写一个经历 然后加个结论提高度

sat写作并没有什么特殊限制
这些关于写作的东东希望对你有用吧
[url]http://bbs.xiaoma.com/thread-16426-1-3.html[/url]
[url]http://bbs.xiaoma.com/thread-16425-1-3.html[/url]
[url]http://bbs.xiaoma.com/thread-16458-1-3.html[/url]
[url]http://bbs.xiaoma.com/thread-16424-1-3.html[/url]
[url]http://bbs.xiaoma.com/thread-16423-1-3.html[/url]
[url]http://bbs.xiaoma.com/thread-16422-1-3.html[/url]

蛮好蛮好。

不过这个第一个例子相比前面的文章，我觉得略有些幼稚，都是上大学的娃了，暂是不是就别老写小学的事情啦？~

而且这篇文章出现了一些时态和语法错误，楼主好好查查！

还是那样，倒数第二段写的很好~！


可以用we，要不行试试everyone~或者one

(can't type chinese) i forgot to bring my computer to the libiary :L
i will upload 2 essays tomorrow....Sorry

that's ok.

o(∩_∩)o...

take ur time

SAT Essay ____8____06/21/08

[b]Prompt 8[/b]

[i]Think carefully about the issue presented in the following excerpt and the assignment below.[/i]

      [b]We don't really learn anything properly until there is a problem, until we make a mistake, until something fails to go as we had hoped. When everything is working well, with no problems ot failures, what incentive do we have to try something new? We are only motivated to learn when we experience difficulties.[/b]

      ―Adapted from Alain de Botton, [i]How Proust Can Change Your Life: Not a Novel
[/i]
[b]Assignment: [u]Does true learning only occur when we experience difficulties?[/u][/b] Plan and write an essay in which you develop your point of view on this issue. Support your position with reasoning and examples taken from your reading, studies, experience, or observations.

[b]My Essay:[/b]

    New born turtles crawl through big rocks and hard sands. They hide from predators. As they trip over and over again. They learn how to breath, how to crawl, how to hide and how to swim. We are just like new born turtles. Off course, we can learn knowledge from textbooks and others human inventions. But our true learning only occurs when we experience difficulties.
   "Friends are important." I have been told thousands of times when I was still a kid. But what are friends? No one explained it to me. So I made a definition by myself: friends are people who always stick and play with you. By this meaning, I had a lot of "friends". We played and laughed with each other. We mentioned each other's names with titles as "My best friend", Even though we didn't really learn the meaning "friends".
   One day, I walked out of the school gate just like I used to do. But I was stopped by some bullies. I had no idea what to do or what to say to them. However, I tended to look back for my "friends" for help. They were like strangers to me. The faces used to smile to me turned cold and scary. I can read the message from their faces:"I don't know you, go ask others for help." The bullies began to tell me to take my money out. "Or else" was a pretty strong word to me at that time. Suddenly, three of my play pals ran out and started to scream for help together. A lot of people looked at our way and gathered to see what was happening. The bullies ran away. I understood that three of them were my real friends. Friends are not just play pals. Real friends should always be there for each other, even in the worst situation. I learned the real meaning of friends. Without this experience, I might not know what friends are really for until today.
   When we first developed nuclear, a lot of countries described it as the perfect solution of the lack of source. But the over industrialization made more and more people learned that nuclear is going harm to the environment. We developed nuclear as much as we could. But we didn't use it on the right point. The global warming and a lot of other problems are trying to teach us a lesson. It is we could be killed by our own invention if we do things without a limit. We could only learn this lesson when we face the problems.  
   Making mistakes and facing difficulties isn't a bad thing. The more we experience, the more lessons we learn, and the less mistake we'll make in the future. Experience difficulties can help us grow up. Because it help us see though the inner character of a thing or event. It is the way of true learning.

[[i] 本帖最后由 smalllab 于 2008-6-22 01:39 编辑 [/i]]

SAT Essay ____9____06/22/08

[b]Prompt 9[/b]

[i]Think carefully about the issue presented in the following excerpt and the assignment below.[/i]

    [b]There are two kinds of pretending. There is the bad kind, as when a person falsely promises to be your friend. But there is also a good kind, where the pretense eventually turns into the real thing. For example, when you are not feeling particularly friendly, the best thing you can do, very often, is to act in a friendly manner. In a few minutes, you may really be feeling friendlier.
[/b]
     ―Adapted from a book by C.S.Lewis

[b]Assignment: [u]Can deception-pretending that something is true when it is not-sometimes have good results?[/u][/b]Plan and write an essay in which you develop your point of view on this issue. Support your position with reasoning and examples taken from your reading, studies, experience, or observations.

[b]My Essay:[/b]

    Always being not honest is not a good manner. But sometimes it is a mistake to tell others the truth directly. It is ok if you tell a lie because the truth might hurt other's feeling. Deception sometimes has good result.
    P.E. was the class I hated the most. I wasn't able to do things as well as others. Such as I couldn't run the long distance running and I couldn't do any pushups. I was very self-abased. I was worried about my grades so I went to see my P.E. teacher before the summer vacation. I asked him how I could exercise to get a higher grade on P.E. He thought for a while and told me that he will help me with P.E. during the summer vacation. He made a summer plan for me and said he would watch me do the exercise every day. At the first few days of practice, I wasn't able to finish the long distance running. But my teacher didn't blame me. Instead, he was praising me that I did a really good job. I felt really happy and tried harder and harder. I was able to finish the long distance running after a few weeks. He was very impressed and he told me that I was better than almost all of my other classmates. I was really cheerful because I could finally finish the long distance running well. I kept this happy feeling everyday when I practice during the last few weeks of the summer vacation. But when I ask others how long it would take then to finish to long distance running. Their answer shocked me. It was way much better than mine at the time my teacher told me I was better than most of them. After I thought over, I understood that my teacher was pretending to be surprised. He told me a lie to encourage me to try harder. It was a warm and fragrant lie. It was a lie that helped me success.
    Psychological suggestion is another example. Doctors need to use psychological suggestions to make patients that have severe sickness survive longer. For instance, scientists gave a group of people that had insomnia a real sleeping pill, and gave another group of people that had insomnia a pill made of flour. The results were the same. Same percentage of the two groups slept well during that night. This means with the "lie" that psychological suggestions made, People don't need to eat medicine that might cause addiction. There are a lot of other miracles that happened because telling "lies" to the patient.
    Although lies are not the truth, but sometimes it works better than the truth does. Sometimes a praise that is not true means more than ten criticizes that is true. It has the power to protect people from heart break, and it has the power to help people success. It is also a sign of caring about others, because it is a white lie.

第一篇那个关于nuclear的论点的没有太大价值 开空了  不如对你前面叙事做个总结和提升

第二篇的开篇感觉很拗口  换成肯定式的表达会好一些
恩～～第二篇内容非常切题 文法也很棒  ～～～～加油哦

看了一眼就觉得   把Always being not honest is not a good manner. 换成 Always lying is not a good manner        好一些 ~ 谢谢

感觉回回写SAT作文都要撒个小谎......
还是做个诚实的孩子吧~~
要好好补补美国历史 以后用美国历史做事例

SAT Essay ____10____06/24/08

[b]Prompt 10[/b]

[i]Think carefully about the issue presented in the following excerpt and the assignment below.[/i]

[b]  It is wrong to think of ourselves as indispensable. We would love to think that our contributions are essential, but we are mistaken if we think that any one person has made the world what it is today. The contributions of individual people are seldom as important or as necessary as we think they are.
[/b]
[b]Assignment: [u]Do we put too much value on the ideas or actions of individual people?[/u][/b] Plan and write an essay in which you develop your point of view on this issue. Support your position with reasoning and examples taken from your reading, studies, experience, or observations.

    There are a lot of people that are important to the world. Such as Edison who invented the light bulb, Newton who established the gravity theory or George Bush who is the America's president. But none of them is indispensable to the world. It is wrong to consider them as they made the world what it is today, but it is also wrong to think ourselves as indispensable.
    My friends and I made up a rock band when we were in 10th grade. We worked very hard and wrote a lot of songs. We did some performance in our school. A lot of people liked our song. It was a pretty huge success to us at that time. We were dreaming about our future: a famous rock band and best friends forever. Well the good times didn't last long. As we got more and more famous, our main singer- the guitar- started to change. He was a very handsome and confident guy. But sometimes he was over self- confident. He thought that he was the best person in our team. He also thought that our team couldn't be without him, and we couldn't live without him. But he was wrong. As we expected, he dismissed from the band and started his own performances. We changed our main singer. A lot of people thought that our band would break up soon after he left. But we didn't. We were working together like we always did, and performed with our best. Soon we were famous though the district. However, the guy who left us wasn't as successful as we were. He quit playing music after some time. As a group, we shouldn't put too much value on ourselves or someone else. Everybody is important to the team, but nobody is indispensable.
    The guitar player was a good player. He was an important part of our team, too. But his failure was he was too confident about himself. Thinking one's contribution is essential isn't a way of confidence, it is a way of arrogant. Arrogant made him forgot what his true placement was.
    It is necessary to know that one's contribution is important. But putting too much value on one self's contribution will led one to failure. Neither should we put too much value on ourselves nor should we put too much value on others. It is not a single person that made the world what it is now. Everybody made a little contribution to the world changed to world together.

怎么作文题目一篇比一篇难.............................................我都快疯了
个人主义......这个例子怎么能找到嘛..........
又编了个小故事....不好意思了各位
:L