查看完整版本: 本人托福菜鸟，写的文章处女秀高手们给瞧瞧。感激ING

本人托福菜鸟，写的文章处女秀高手们给瞧瞧。感激ING

题目：some people think that it is best fot extended family (including grantparents,aunts cousins......)to live together. Other people think that it is best for the nuclear family (parents kids only)to live away from the extended family.Which one do you perfer? Use the specific reasons and examples to support your idea.
下面是小弟的，帮忙改改，错得地方麻烦给指正下:'(
    Whether should the extend family to live with the nuclear family or the nuclear family to live away from the extend family, different people have different ideas due to their background. But I believe the solutions given by Chinese who claim to have a big family were extraordinary similar. In my country, in my family, my grandfather and my uncle and my nephew are living with my parents and I. definitely, we are a big family. So, as far as I am concerned, I great agree with the first idea, the extend family should live with the nuclear family.
  Firstly, children have the obligation to take care of the old people, including their parents and their grandparents. So living together will enhance their family cohesion, for instance, I have been living with my grandfather for almost twelve years, during this time, we are relying more and more on each other and every times there are some problems arose in my family, our cohesion always help us to get though it. Secondly, living together also make day by day works more easily, as the proverb that” many hands make light work ”. So every time after meal, we actually do the housework together. My mother and I wash the dishes, and the rest of people clean up the table, it’s really saved a lot of time, so I think living together make our house business more efficiency. At last, there is no doubt that living together have brought me courage and confidence, for sometimes when I felt worried or depressed, my uncle would calmed me down and gave me courage and confidence to surmount these puzzles. I have benefited a lot because now I trust nothing is insurmountable.
  Thus, it can be seen that having the extended family to live together can give a rise to many benefits, and it’s more than one way. Extended family members can help not only with the mundane work of getting though the day, but they can also ensure that family traditions will be passed from one generation to the next.

:'(  有人愿意帮帮小弟吗