nancy625 2008-5-5 22:09
希望大家帮忙改一下，最常见的题之一
[b]Some people prefer to live in a small town. Others prefer to live in a big city. Which place would you prefer to live in? Use specific reasons and details to support your answer.
[/b]
Some people prefer to live in a small town because they like fresh air. Others choose to live in a big city. The latter is my choice, too. There are three main reasons as follows:
First, people can get more opportunities to develop your own career in a big city. As everyone know, now many people have to face many difficulties when find a job, especially a good and satisfactory job. If live in a big city, you could make use of various sources on internet. You initially make your electronical resumes with computer, and then search for important information about recruitment from many popular web sites, like Chinaren and 51job and so on. You even get professional suggestion from people who have colorful working experiences. Finally you maybe rapidly obtain a lot of opportunities for interview. A precious opportunity means you’re likely to approach success. I figure this point is a big help to me, a fresh person who is near to graduate.
Furthermore, the bigger a city is, the more convenient the transport is. If live in a small and remote country, you would not go every place free. There’s a piece of news said that a person living in mountainous religion have to spend two days or even longer to get out and buy daily stuff. While live in a city, you nearly have those problems. You could immediately purchase all kinds of food and drinks in supermarkets with only half an hour. Besides this, you could travel everywhere by car or air with your families and close friends. For example, you can enjoy shopping in Hong Kong only on weekends, but fly to Beijing on Sunday evening without delaying for working on Monday. All of those occasions are mainly due to the convenient transport among cities.
Finally, you can make more friends more easily and rapidly. Because of convenient transportation and colorful activities in the city, such as seeing a film, dancing and singing in the clubs, you could release your stress and relax yourself.
chershang002 2008-5-6 11:49
LZ的文字中语法问题不少……
开头略显单薄，而且觉得你比较喜欢用偏向口语化的表达
我觉得你的字数还可以再增加些
最后，结尾的部分，最好再写一段做一个总的陈述
