查看完整版本: 小艾归来

qifeihu 2008-4-30 01:03

小艾归来

小艾最近日子很混乱, 现在终于将烦事理顺, 回归写作版, 大家留下的问题和文章, 我会逐个看的, 大家不要着急!:lol

evilscorpio 2008-4-30 01:34

麻烦小艾课代表了,嘿嘿……

[font=Times New Roman]Do you agree or disagree: University students should be required to take basic science classes even they are not part of the field of the study.[/font]
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[font=Times New Roman]It is the basic science that fosters our essential ability. It is the basic science that expands our horizons. It is the basic science that is acquired in the technologically advanced society. So, in my point of view, I pedestal that the university students have the justification to take basic science classes even they are not indentified with their majors. Among the countless factors which influence my decision there are three conspicuous aspects as follows.[/font]
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[font=Times New Roman]The most consequent point for my penchant is that taking basic science could nurture a wide variety of ability. The crucial ability we can develop is the logical and systematic thinking. Bertrand Russell a noted mathematician, for instance, contributed his logical thinking to a large fraction of basic science which he attained in Cambridge University. Taking basic science classes also helps us cultivate independent thinking. Science classes tend to make demands on learning and analyzing some theories in scientific confines. Then we may criticize the inconsequent and incomplete parts of those theories. During these processes, we may discover or create a new theory. Accordingly, the basic science classes nourish our innovative thinking ability simultaneously.[/font]
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[font=Times New Roman]Another reason can be seen by every person is that having basic science classes enriches our knowledge. It can be well exemplified by the case of my roommate Ann, who took an introductory biology course. And she is able to indentify many types of plants. Last week, our history department organized an outing to the Huanghua National Park. During this trip, Ann introduced some basic information of those plants in the park. Such as what names they are, which class they belong to and where they usually grow. All of us appreciate her vast and versatile erudition.[/font]
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[font=Times New Roman]Furthermore, the knowledge and information we acquire from our classes would exert an undeniably positive and far-reaching influence on our future success in career and existence in the technologically advanced society. It is reported in New York Times that 9 out of 10 prominent corporations will test their interviewees’ basic science knowledge. So only when we had basic science classes, can we pass such interviews, enter the companies and deserve a decent salary.[/font]
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[font=Times New Roman]Admittedly, taking basic science classes, to some extent, may exert a relatively negative effect. For example, it will take university students certain time and energy, which leads they can not spare no effort on their fields. However the inevitable beneficial consequences overshadow the drawbacks. Therefore I reinforce my standpoint that I vote for taking basic science classes is necessary.[/font]

wuhao5217195 2008-4-30 15:59

难怪  连听力 都不见你人了...
:lol

yoyo 2008-5-2 18:37

我也厚着脸皮麻烦了~~:L
[color=red]小艾,红色是改了的,关于第一段我按你的建议改了可是总改不好,感觉衔接不上~~小艾有时间看看啊~谢谢啦~[/color]:)
The books are divided into two sorts, one is fiction (story or novel), and another is non-fiction. Do you prefer to read fiction or non-fiction?

In modern society, with the growing of economy there have lots of competitions that consist in every aspect and that become further fierce. As a result, people who enhance their abilities by studying and learning continually could live in the society. Therefore, I'm in favor with those books that could lift my working capacity.

Nowadays, lots of companies recruit people who specialize in certain area. However, in the time of changing and developing constantly, technologies in any field are renewed in every hour, even every minute. As long as study consecutively by reading those books that are beneficial to our skills of working, person could catch the pace of the time. Simultaneous, the useful books could promote our efficiency in working to learning subtle crafts introduced in books. As the old saying is that there have no progress that is equal to retrogress. People who always step in the same place will lose not only their opportunities now, but their futures as some certain newly technology they can not grasped, other people fail to work with them. And then, the chances that participated in the important work will far away from them which will change their whole lives.

Besides, the rivals brought about the youth that graduated from universities are another reason that we are supposed to read more practical books. The freshmen firstly come to the society maybe have no experiences, but there are endless passion and numerous spirit in their mind, and the most importance is that they grasp the newest technology in their special realm. If people who worked for several years do not learn more knowledge through books about their working, the replacement with youth is probability. Reading books to improve working’s ability is the only way to enhance a person’s competitive power. Therefore, the useful books could take a number of merits in the process of working.

The books used to kill times also, nevertheless, have benefits to people for the way combined studying with entertainment is the most efficient and effective approach to obtain knowledge. On the other hand, the time used to reading story books should be restricted that we could have sufficient times to learn more knowledge via those useful books. In conclusion, the books of practice are useful to our life and appeal to me.

amended:
[font=Times New Roman][size=14pt]According to a recent statistic on the internet, the number of recruit people who can’t get job-offer occupies 23 % of chinese people, espically, those people who has worked for several years.[/size][size=14pt] Contemporary society is the one that is saturated by competetions that consist in every aspect and simultaneously, are becoming further fierce. As a result, people who enhance their abilities by studying and learning continuely could live in the society. Therefore, I'm in favor with those books that could lift my working capacity.[/size][/font]
[font=Times New Roman][size=14pt]In view of the practical need, there are more and more people interested in pracyical book. [/size][size=14pt]Nowadays, lots of compaies are more likely to recruit people who specialize in certain area. However, in the time of changing and developing constantly, technologies in any field are renewed in every hours, even every minutes. As long as studying consecutively by reading those books that are beneficial to our skills of working, person could catch the pace of the time. Simultaneous, the useful books could promote our efficience in working to learning subtle craftes introduced in books. As the old saying that there have no progress that is equal to retreat. People who always step in the same place will lose not only their oppotunaties now, but their futures as some certain newly technology they can not grasped, other people fail to work with them. And then, they will gradually be exeptemed to those important works and replaced by their workers.[/size][/font]
[font=Times New Roman][size=14pt]Another reason that we are supposed to read more practical books is that youth who freshly graduated from universities go into the society promote the competetion further more. [/size][size=14pt]The freshmen firstly come to the society maybe have no experiences, but there are endless passion and numerous spirit in their mind, and the most importance is that they grasp the newest technology in their special realm. If people who worked for several years do not learn more knowledge through books about their working, the replacement with youth is probability. Reading books to improve working’s ability is the only way to enhance a person’s competitive power. Therefore, the useful books could take a number of merits in the process of working.[/size][/font]
[size=14pt][font=Times New Roman]The books used to kill times may, nevertheless, have benefits to people for the way combined studying with entertainment is the most efficient and effective approach to obtain knowledge. On the other hand, the time used to reading story books should be restricted that we could have sufficient times to learn more knowledge via those useful books. In conclusion, I expect to underlie my vantage point once more that the books of practice are more useful to our life and appeal to me.[/font][/size]

[[i] 本帖最后由 yoyo 于 2008-5-9 21:12 编辑 [/i]]

yoyo 2008-5-2 18:48

回复 2# 的帖子

小艾没来,我先给你看看吧~不过水平有限~~~ 见谅~~:L
Accordingly, the basic science classes nourish our innovative thinking ability simultaneously.
ability==abilities

Admittedly, taking basic science classes, to some extent, may exert a relatively negative effect. For example, it will take university students certain time and energy, which leads they can not spare no effort on their fields.
university student?有这个说法吗?
which leads they can not spare no effort on their fields,语法不好没看懂~好像有点问题~

qifeihu 2008-5-5 00:28

回复 4# 的帖子

几天没看你的文章, 感觉有提高啊! 大概看了一下, 写的还是很好的! 谢谢来顶我啊! 呵呵
我想跟你说你的文章, 我觉得开头单薄了些.如果实在想不出什么名言作开长白可以介绍一些背景比如According to a recent statistic on the internet, the number of recruit people who can't get the job-offer occupies 23% of Chinese young people who has just graduated from university. 然后对这个背景分析得出现在竞争激烈, 再引出论点.
此外我个人认为你的分论点得中心句不够完整, 概扩性不强, 句型也不是很完美, 我觉得你的水平已经不错了, 应该多抓抓细节, 第一段和各分段的第一句话是非常非常重要的, rater最先看的就是这部分, 这部分也是看的最仔细得, 基本上就能为为文章奠定基调了.此外还能看出你是否跑题 所以要足够得重视, 尽量把自己最好得句型都用出来, 同时提出自己明确得idea( 绝对避免单词拼写错误, 语法错误, 切莫在敏感得地方烦恶心得错误.) 你再仔细斟酌一下, 改改有空我帮你看看

[[i] 本帖最后由 qifeihu 于 2008-5-5 01:45 编辑 [/i]]

qifeihu 2008-5-5 00:30

回复 2# 的帖子

大概看了一下, 都把帖子发到这里, 你的积极性相当高啊!
我有空再帮你改啊! 别着急

yoyo 2008-5-5 21:21

谢谢小艾和小艾的鼓励~~信心大增啊~~:lol
努力努力~!小艾快考试了吧?还是已经考完了?

yoyo 2008-5-5 21:22

回复 7# 的帖子

谢谢小艾和小艾的鼓励~~信心大增啊~~:lol
努力努力~!小艾快考试了吧?还是已经考完了?

yoyo 2008-5-5 21:22

回复 7# 的帖子

谢谢小艾和小艾的鼓励~~信心大增啊~~:lol
努力努力~!小艾快考试了吧?还是已经考完了?

aqua 2008-5-16 18:43

支持

偶还是新人啊,还得麻烦小艾多多指教
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