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自己做的模板 试 写一篇 请高手 拍

自己做的模板   试 写一篇   请高手 拍      快考试了，  这几天一直在做模板  自己的，   今天试写一篇 ，  为检验模板的可靠性   并修改   恳请大家赐教  ，，  快考试了 拜谢                  请大家从文章结构    句子  与语言三角度拍    我会记住大家的好


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[font=Times New Roman]     [size=14pt]it is more important to use land for human need than to save land for endangered animals.?[/size]
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[size=14pt]         A recent investigation conducted by the biological organization demonstrates that preserve areas for endanger animal are dramatically decreasing because of using land for human need too much . Obviously ,indifferent to human beings exploring more and more land are those people who hold the opinion that exploring more land can create more space and more natural resources for human need . From my point of view, considerable though the advantages that using land for human need enjoys are , they can not compete with benefits that saving land for endangered animals brings about , when our plant’s future and our responsibility are taken into deliberation.[/size][/font]
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[size=14pt]          First of all , some minor advantages to tapping land for human demands may include both large economic profits and more space for living . For instance , people can completely exploit natural resources such as wood ,oil ,gas, and some mineral that are the blood of modern industry . Also people may construct more nuclear power plants in place of endangered animals preserve , since they are surely dangerous to people if the location is near our community. Another benefit that tapping land causes is more living space for us . For example , it is not necessary for big cities to construct more and higher skyscrapers , so that people can own roomy houses .[/size]

[size=14pt]          When human beings enjoy their roomy houses and more convenience , isn’t it necessary that they give some consideration to those endangered animals without habitats ?[/size]

[size=14pt]          Apparently , human is not the only owner of our Earth . and it is we human beings that have sole responsibility to protect our neighbor , especially endangered animals . At the same time , saving land for this sort of animal can bring about more advantages than people expected . On the one hand, preserving land for endangered animals can keep our ecological balance and expand gene pool .For example , if all tiger got extinct , there would be disaster for food chain and eventually affect us . Also , the larger group endangered animals have, the huger gene pool scientists would expand ; therefore, some important gene that have special function are available to biologists .[/size]

[size=14pt]           On the other hand , as is evidenced in findings released by healthy magazine, people can enjoy more fun and relax from touching and communicating with natural animals rather than pests. Perhaps because human suffer so much from pressures from any aspects of society such as study , work and transportation . [/size]
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           Although I agree that there may be a couple of advantages of using land for human need , I maintain that the advantages and importance of saving land for endangered animals are more obvious. Generally speaking , nothing is more important than preserving nearly extinct animals and keeping ecological balance. In other words , invading our neighbor’s habitats is not honor thing.
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[[i] 本帖最后由 走聪明 于 2008-4-19 14:28 编辑 [/i]]

500  字    我会继续改的

学习！:victory:

大家 快拍啊   球球你们  求我了

结构很不错，基本上没问题

个别句子会出现冗长的现象，不过整体上没问题，LZ放心吧

谢谢  好人    句子  我也觉得 很臭很长    没办法

我觉得正面论证有点少了，在相对分量上大些会好点吧:)

看这作文的结构,应该是戴云的学生吧,哈~

结构~不错！
推荐一个句子：Its disadvantages mean noting when its advantages are mentioned.

没见过戴云     但熟悉他的声音                             对  正面的原因 少了   谢谢              想想  黄二   加点进去

[[i] 本帖最后由 Nova+ 于 2008-4-25 20:32 编辑 [/i]]