查看完整版本: 写得有点苦 大家给点建议呵 先谢了~~~~

写得有点苦 大家给点建议呵 先谢了~~~~

[font=Times New Roman]一次做一件事还是几件事一起做?[/font]
[font=Times New Roman]今天兴致来了  再来一篇 虽然写的比较苦闷[/font]
[font=Times New Roman]晚上改了改  拿上来大家看看 给些建议呵~~~~[/font]
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[font=Times New Roman]Living in this updating society, people are often face with numerous of project everyday. Some prefer to finish only one subject and then another, but the other enjoy doing two or more projects at the same time. As far as I concered, I prefer doing one subject first.[/font]
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[font=Times New Roman]First and foremost, it is easy to imagine, the more attention we focus on one project, the more quick we will arrive our destination during the process of project. We usually have to handle a lot of issues in our study, work, and our life. If we have not arrange them appropriate not only we will in a low advancement in projects, but also through us in exhausting situation. When I was in high school, preparing for the College Entrance Examination. I was worried about my weakness subjects, as a result of that, I spend almost the same time on them everyday, but it does not make much progress. Fortunately, I had changed my statics instead of focus on one subject during period of time, and then another. Finally, my success in examination own a large debt on the statics changed into focus on one project at one time.[/font]
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[font=Times New Roman]Furthermore, as the old saying goes in China, "The deeper you dig, the more you get", Independent thinking ability, analysis ability, and creativity are the crucial factor of success which are learned from constantly work on one project. I can think of no better illustration than the following case. Elbert Edison, a noted inventor, which leave uncounted inventions to the world, like light lamp, record machine and so on. During the period on researching lamp, he failure the experiment for numerous times, but he still keep digging! So shocked and impressibility is he that after tried thousands of different materials for the lamp, and finally he invented the lamp and other inventions one by one. So, is it the reason that finished a project completely then to another made him succeed? [/font]
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[font=Times New Roman]Admittedly, doing several subjects at one time also have their merits, it may be more efficiency, diversity, and interesting, for example, people enjoy listening music while they are having meal, talking, doing their housework., they consider that can be relaxation.[/font]
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[font=Times New Roman]However, the[/font][b][color=black][font=Tahoma][size=10.5pt] prerequisite[/size][/font][/color][/b][font=Times New Roman] of that is these kind of things do not need we focus our attention on them. So, compared all the discussion above, the merits of completely finish the one project first over shadow their disadvantages, I still cling to that we should finished the project one by one.
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第一段 people are often face with numerous of project everyday.
numerous后面应该没有of 吧
第二段the more quick we will arrive our destination during the process of project
quick 在这应该用副词quickly；arrive后面少介词at
第三段If we have not arrange them appropriate not only we will in a low advancement in projects, but also through us in exhausting situation. 有点小错误，not only前面应该用个逗号，然后not only用于句首应该倒装，改成will we
吃晚饭了~先到这吧~~也不知道说的对不对，楼主就当给帖子添点人气好了呵呵:)

这时候才吃饭呵~?
多谢建议哈 我再看看~
:lol

回复 1# 的帖子

第一段are often faced with numerous projects           face>faced      project>projects
             Some prefer to finish one project after another, while others enjoy ... 前半句全改了 后面but>while
             As far as I am concerned, I agree with the former one.  concered> am concerned   后面变成former one
第二段quick>quickly  ,       arrive at, arrange>arranged           appropriate>+ly.             not only will we be ...
            but also through us in exhausting situation. 这一句感觉莫名其妙的，建议改一下
      high school 后面逗号去掉，Examination后面句号改逗号 weakness>weak subjects 后逗号改句号
      然后是 I tried every effort to prepare them at the same time,  后面的doesn't make much prograss 用过去时
      Fortunately, I had changed my statics instead of focus on one subject during period of time, and then another. 整句有问题首先statics 是静态学？？？ 其次instead of 后面应为动名词，而且instead of 后面的意思应该是代替前不用的方法，所以建议整句全改掉
           Finally, my success in examination own a large debt on the statics changed into focus on one project at one time      整句 success in + the + examination    own>owe to           a large debt on 不知道什么意思 statics???            changed into forcusing on...
第三段 as an old saying 不用the       后面are the most crucial factors... 注意复数
        which are learnt from continuously  working 注意from 是介词 后面动词要变形
        Elbert Edison, a noted inventor, which leave uncounted inventions to the world, like light lamp, record machine and so on.我要说这不是个句子，只是个名词，全都是Elbert edison 的定语 而且他是个人，用which??? 并且后面应用left    like 改为such as
               下一句 failure 是 名词， 改为failed in .... but he still kept digging 注意复数！！！
impressibility>impressed 后面 was he that after trying 用动名词！！！后面的and finally 直接去掉
        最后问句中用finishing 动名词做主语啊
第四段第一句 have its merits 并且merits 后逗变句号  It may be more efficient,diverse and interesting. 注意形容词
interesting 后逗变句
        For example, people enjoy listening music while they are having meal, talking, doing their housework., they consider that can be relaxation. 改为For example, people enjoy listening music while they are having meal, talking, doing their housework., which are condidered to be  relaxation.
最后一段  第一句However, the prerequisite of that is these kind of things do not need we focus our attention on them.放到第四段末尾,并且 kind>kinds     do not need our much attention on them.
              So, compared all the discussion above, the merits of completely finish the one project first over shadow their disadvantages, I still cling to that we should finished the project one by one.句中finish >finsishing 后面the 去掉      并且I still 前+and          cling to 后+the perspective that ....         finished>finish    project>projects
花了好久看啊，有些累，不过还是帮你改完了，不确定改的是否全对，单百分之90以上应该是没问题的，所以好好看看吧，问题确实不少哩，大家一起努力吧:victory: :victory: :victory:

哇!
感动`````
辛苦辛苦拉
真的非常感谢!!!!!
下午上课回来我好好
看看了!
中午撑不住了......

刚全部仔细看了
果然错误极多
哎~~~
真难为你了......
再次致谢!!!
:lol
我尽量以后不犯同样的错!
再问下呵  第三段的最后一句改为这样可不?
Does finishing a project completly then another made him succeeded?

回复 6# 的帖子

感觉还是有问题，先看语法，completly>completely  made>make    succeeded>succeed
其次，这是一个疑问句，并不能表达你反问的意思 建议改为It is finishing a project completely then another that makes him succeed. 用强调句好点吧

哦~~
这样哦
那改反问句该怎么改呢?

还有 前面那个A owe a large debt on ...B.
是说A是由B引起,造成,导致的意思

回复 8# 的帖子

用否定疑问就可以了吧 Isn't it  finishing a project completely then  another makes him succeed

好的~~~
就这样吧
多谢了~
今天改累拉吧?
呵呵 错误太多了