查看完整版本: 所以请教:自由写作与托福写作

所以请教:自由写作与托福写作

看过《满分作文》，觉得里面的句子、思维都很自然，没有什么太大的转折。想请教，托福写作是不是风格可以随意一点，不用写成学术的八股文啊？  

附一篇作文   望指教   被作文风格的问题折磨了很久了。。。

[size=10.5pt][font=Times New Roman]3. Nowadays, food has become easier to prepare. Has this change improved the way people live? Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.
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[font=Times New Roman][size=3]It is an indisputable truth that food are easier to prepare. Nowadays, clean vegetables and readily-sliced beef can be brought directly from supermarkets. In spite of the convinient purchase of food, advanced technologies make the process of preparing food much more easier. The invention of micro-wave oven and refrigerator play an important role in food preparation. As a result, the way people live has been improved dramatically.[/size][/font]
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[font=Times New Roman][size=3]To begin with, people now have more time to participate in whatever they like since the tedious work of washing vegetables or chopping onions has been consigned to the employees of the supermarkets. After a whole day’s work or study, people can finally relax and relieve the pressure by picking up a favorate novel or by playing games with their kids. It is difficulte to image what would happen if the former process of food preparation is still exsist today. It would be a disaster for modern people who suffer more pressure and shoulder more responsibilities than their ancestors to spend two or more hours to prepare food.[/size][/font]
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[font=Times New Roman][size=3]Furthermore, people can enjoy more varieties of dished in one meal on the grounds that the time used for preparing three or even more dishes nowadays is equal to that used for preparing one single dish in the past. For one thing, a great number of stores and supermarkets are not located in residential areas and they will always provide halp-prepared food. Therefore, it is convinient for people to buy several types of half-prepared food, such as fish, beef or even turkey, in those shops and turn those stuff in to delicious dished at home with ease. For another thing, the well-equiped kitchens have a positive influence on the preparating of various dished. In the past, a normal family might has but one stove which would be used to cook meals or boil water. But people now can have several stoves at home, adding with micro-wave ovens to prepare their food. Thus, the change of the facilities in the kitchen make it even more easier to prepare various dishes.[/size][/font]
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[font=Times New Roman][size=3]Finally, young children are able to prepare their own food since some complicate steps of food preparation have been excluded from its former process. For instance, the vast majority of children can now prepare their own breakfast. A little oat and some hot water can make a bowl of porridge. Two pieces of bread, one slice of meat and a little cheeze will creat a sandwitch. Yound children always find this sort of things interesting. To some extent, parents can relax for a while since they are not necessary to keep their eyes on children all the time. Thus, both parents and children are benefit from this change.[/size][/font]
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[font=Times New Roman][size=3]To conclude, the way people live and behave has been largely improved by the change of food preparation. Since they are now free from those annoying preparation process, people can enjoy their lives better than before.[/size][/font]

回复 1# 的帖子

文章大概看了一下 写的不错 稍后细看
想讨论讨论写作风格的问题
其实S.Y说过TOEFL写作自由度极大, 确实TOEFL比起GRE风格上自由了很多
可是鄙人认为, 把文章写的学术一点, 还是写作时的首选
首先, 学术类文章框架显明, 容易论证充分, 风格随以固然可以体现自己的写作水平, 但是关键是我们的水平还不能保证我们无论些什么风格都论证充分, 就像我们初中, 高中写作文, 都是先从简单的记叙文, 到比较八股的议论文, 再到形式松散些的散文, 是需要积累的, 古人说此为喝墨水, 那么英文同样如此, 我们应该走的稳当了, 再想跑.
其次, 写学术类文章更能讨好美国佬, 看看我们的天然范文TOEFL阅读的模式就知道了, 美国人思维简单,直接, 而学术类文章恰恰是他们所推崇的, 而中国的散文形式的文章可能会让美国人崩溃, 那种云里雾里的说了一堆最后让读者猜中心思想, 他们会疯.
最后, TOEFL写作考查的是你有没有写学术文章essay的能力, 简单的说去了USA上大学, 得有能力写作业吧!
所以个人认为TOEFL作文还是学术一点好

You responded with a well-organized and developed essay. Weaknesses, if you have any, might have to do with

use of English that is occasionally ungrammatical, unclear, or unidiomatic and/or
elaboration of ideas or connection of ideas that could have been stronger.

只要满足上面2条就是good了。

回复 1# 的帖子

托福写作就是对今后进入美国大学写各种paper的提前演练，所以风格应是论证型的风格。即论点-论据。

:loveliness:  很受启发,谢谢各位了~~~~