查看完整版本: 3月24日发放作文题1

第一次写咧，严重超时了那

10多天就开考了。托福作文需要写结尾吗？语言不地道的问题好难解决啊。感谢辛勤帮助
It has been a fairly heated discussed topic that whether the technology solves problems and makes life better more or creates new problems that may threaten or damage the quality of life more. Among the different opinions above, I may agree with the latter one, since I myself regard technology as an active impulse in our people’s daily life.

Obviously, the Medias tend to make technology as one of the standards of the development of human beings’ lives. Take a country as an example, it will encourage its related department to open the door of the scientific world so that the possibility of the born of new technology can be promoted. In developing country, a revolution in agricultural technology has enlarged food’s produce so greatly that thousands of people have got rid of the poverty ever since. At the same time, new invention of industrial materials has enhanced our housing conditions, too. The most significant influence that new technology brought us could be it changes people’s conceptions about their lives. Due to the invention of radios, televisions and even the world wide web, dwellers who stay in a remote little village get a chance to know and finally contact the outside world, without going outside of their home personally or spending too much expenses either. With all of the proofs stated above, it is quite persuasive to believe that the majority of us have been benefited by new technology.

Although the positive role which technology has being played can not be neglected, opponents still argue or doubt what technology really means to human beings. They claim, once and once again, that during the huge development and innovation of technology, countless nations or regions, most of which are under developed, suffer from the environmental problems caused by which directly or indirectly. According to some news released, it seems that behind every successful factory, there must be a natural area has been destroyed. People only forget, however, technology itself has never done any harm to us, contrarily, it is right the humans who over-use natural resources but not technology which should not be responsible for our own fault. Furthermore, people complain that technology does not improve our life quality but do some damages to some extend. It can be admitted that there is a trend that more and more employees have depended on the computers or the internet so much that they can not continue their work once problems occur with the electricity or internet. Ironically, the technology which is created by us decreases our capability. Still, those who hold a doubting attitude towards technology may ignore the following powerful statistics. After the invention of computers as an instance, people’s productivity has soared so many times as the time before. Owing to the technology, human’s road of development become longer and longer ever since.

小罗

对不起，从没发过帖子，不小心竟发重了

sorry

第二段：
Take a country as an example建议改为take a developing country as an example
而后面紧接着的 In developing country,建议改为一个具体country为例
enlarged food’s produce改为....food production
这段的ts: Obviously, the Medias tend to make technology as one of the standards of the development of human beings’ lives.为什么要提到media,看不出来你整段technology与media 有多大联系。

建议第三段最好分段

.....most of which are under developed, suffer from the environmental problems caused by which directly or indirectly. 这句话没写完

After the invention of computers as an instance, people’s productivity has soared so many times as the time before.
建议动词soar改为inhance
inhance much more greatly than the time before
你的有些句子看似很长，但句子读起来晦涩难懂，因为句子内在的逻辑性还欠缺，最好有些词能具体表达，避免太抽象了。

太感激您的帮助了

真的很感激。您指出我的严重问题。一定要再努力。
最后，想问问您托福作文用不用写结尾啊？谢谢了。

回复46#

[quote].....most of which are under developed, suffer from the environmental problems caused by which directly or indirectly. 这句话没写完

[/quote]
这句话值得商榷，我不能确定，可能这样表达也可以。因为我看到一句结构类似的话：
The primary purpose of a liberal education is to make one's mind a pleasant place in which to spend one's time.

托福作文一般是要有个结尾的，这样一篇文章才完整，字数也能达到要求。

真心感谢版主的热情帮助！！！

谢谢您啦！

[size=10.5pt][font=Times New Roman][font=Tahoma][size=14pt][/size][/font]
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[font=Tahoma][size=12pt]There is a growing awareness of whether technology enhances our overall quality of life. While technology may threaten or damage the quality of life, on balance, technology can and does solve problem and make life better than to create new problems.[/size][/font]
[font=Tahoma][size=12pt] [/size][/font]
[font=Tahoma][size=12pt]First consider the agricultural technology, particularly grain cultivation techniques.
With the increasing of population comes the growing need for more food and malnourish in third world people. In this sense, advance in technology of agriculture become more and more important. The hybrid rice technology in China, for example, made it possible for my country to feeding its people nearly 22% of the worlds population with 7%overall arable land of the world. From this cogent example, we can clearly understand the expansion of agricultural technology solve a serious problem for human-beings. [/size][/font]
[font=Tahoma][size=12pt] [/size][/font]
[font=Tahoma][size=12pt]Next consider the swift developing medical technology. The advance of medical science not only enhances people’s health but also prolong people’s life. Today, tuberculosis is easy to remedy with antibiotics such as penicillin, vaccine kept many children from polio, certain disease such as small-pox is no longer exist. The above examples perfect support the view that the progress of medical technique helps to improve the quality of people’s life.[/size][/font]
[font=Tahoma][size=12pt] [/size][/font]
[font=Tahoma][size=12pt]A coin have two side, one harmful byproduct of technological progress is environmental pollution and it threat to public heath. Never the less, to prevent pollution effectively such as refuse treatment also needs the technological innovation.[/size][/font]

[size=10.5pt][font=Times New Roman]没写过作文，闭门造车，磨了三个小时，字数还不够，自己bs自己，努力中[/font][/size]
[size=10.5pt][font=Times New Roman]麻烦帮我拍啊[/font][/size]
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[[i] 本帖最后由 eagledoudou 于 2008-5-25 20:50 编辑 [/i]]