查看完整版本: 请教关于虚拟语气＋另附本人拙作 以供大家增加信心

请教关于虚拟语气＋另附本人拙作 以供大家增加信心

感觉有些条件从句和虚拟语气 比较相似不好区分
能不用不？ 没什么影响吧？

[[i] 本帖最后由 liu6904 于 2008-3-20 23:00 编辑 [/i]]

句子多样化是你能否拿高分的重要评判标准, 满篇的简单句堆砌,就算例证在充分, 也无法拿到满分. 所以句子一定要多样, 尽量避免比较low-level的句子, 比如 I think.....   so......   because.....     尝试用更高档的句式代替. 关于楼主的问题,  楼主最好还是找本语法书研究一下, 万一写作时真的想用, 却怕犯错是最麻烦的了. 其实楼主大可不必太深究语法, 多使用老师提供的经典句式, 拿来直接用就ok了, 我们平时说话时肯定不会想该使用什么句式,该怎么表达. 平时把好的句式背下来, 经常使用就会达到这样的效果. 关于IBT,句式着重积累倒装,插入语,强调方面的,会非常有用.
这里向楼主推荐<李笑来句法多样化专题>
链接:[url=http://www.xiaomaguohe.net/bbs/thread-1588-1-2.html]http://www.xiaomaguohe.net/bbs/thread-1588-1-2.html[/url]

[[i] 本帖最后由 qifeihu 于 2008-3-20 21:31 编辑 [/i]]

多谢了
可是时间不多了
哎。。。

回复 3# 的帖子

没关系 好句子是用来当闪光点,典缀的. 你能不能充分的support你的viewpoint才是key
你写一篇文章发上来,大家给你拍一拍.

10. "When people succeed, it is because of hard work. Luck has nothing to do with success." Do you agree or disagree with the quotation above? Use specific reasons and examples to explain your position.

When people succeed, of course, hard work is a significant element ， which contributes to the success. Moreover, luck also has something to do with it.  It’s hard to imagine some people can succeed without any luck. On the other hand, depending on luck merely will not bring the person any chance to succeed.
When talking about somebody’s success, people always simply focus on how lucky he or she is, and always ignore the hard work which is behind the success. It is out of question  that without hard work，no one can get success. Take the great inventor Edison as an example, before he invented the bulb successfully, he had tried numerous times and worked so hard to find the most suitable material for the filament of the bulb. Obviously the process of the work is laborious and tedious. Therefore, there is no way to succeed without hard work.
As a matter of fact, luck is also an important part of the success. Success without any luck is almost impossible. Nearly every success has something to do with luck. For instance, consider a teenage girl who wants to become a movie star. Although she is good looking or works hard, it is still difficult for her to become a movie star. For there are so many people who are also good looking and maybe even work harder. The person, however, who eventually becomes the movie star, may not be  the most beautiful or even not the most studious, may be just a person with some luck. At the same time, success that comes from pure luck and no hard work must be impossible.
In brief, hard work has a lot to do with success. There is no chance to succeed without any hard work. At the same time , luck is an important part too. In a word, it is rather superficial to simply say that luck has nothing to do with success.

不管丢不丢人了

第一段,作者先说了some people 说hard work重要 , 然后又说luck也重要,所以关系应该是转折, moreover应该是however  然后On the other hand,还是hard work重要, 可是我读完文章才发现楼主的观点是中立的. 那么第一段作为mainly idea部分, 必须交代你的观点, agree or disagree 你交代的太拐弯抹角,不明确,不一针见血就算要写中立的也要表明中立态度,可以这样写: I find .....is hard to agree with./According to me, neither a “Yes” (an agreeing) nor “No” (disagreeing) response to the statement seems proper. The way I see it, ...and ..... both  play a part of in a person's success 措辞惋转些不要用太绝对的词, 比如楼主第二段最后一句Therefore, there is no way to ..........太强烈, 可是后面又disagree了 所以逻辑太混乱. 一定要在第一段表明自己的立场, 不要别人怎么怎么样的说一堆,自己的观点没有.或有也不饱满.  我不建议开头说别人怎么样,有的人...还有的人.....,这不是4,6级作文, 写人也可以, 必须上升个档次---名人,比如       Zeng Guofan, one of the most prominent Chinese statesmen living in the tumultuous 19th century, famously commented, “Fate I do not believe in, but luck  is another matter.”(摘自史禹老师讲义), 来给你的文章增色, 增加学术性,增加分量.
          第二段, 该提出自己得sub point 要有transition words 和 topic sentence. 这样文章就跟具层次化更有逻辑性,也符合北美学术论文得结构, 方便rater阅读, 也会取悦rater.ibt的阅读部分基本上都是这么安排的.  对于中立观点transition words 也要相应调整可以这样说Generally speaking, I agree with the statement. I believe work hard play a significant role of becoming a successful person.  同样第三段 however, I have to admit that luck is also an important part of the success(按楼主所说). 这样就连接紧密,自然,且逻辑,思路清晰.不过楼主的第二段还是相当不错的爱迪生的例子非常恰当. 第三段的例子也很不错,但是最好再detail一些,比如说For instance,my little sister , who  wants to become a movie star deeply, is really good looking.......ETS考官很喜欢personal experience 和 更多细节的example.我们寝室的同学的成绩单上关于独立写作的评语充满了 please give more detail or example(他实力听强的但作文2.5 总成绩90就独立作文不好)...,个人感觉超女李玉春也适合这个sub point
           最后一段 in brief 改为 on the whole(总体来说)I agree with the quotation that hard work is more important. 感觉楼主倾向于hard work(其实感觉楼主自己也不知道倾向哪个),是不完全的倾向于hard work 的那种中立.这种文章不是不可以写,但是一定要说清楚,否则很容让读者逻辑混乱,此外最好给自己赞成的观点写两个sub points 再写一个反对的points--- 戴云经典的2+1 模式
楼主词汇使用还是比较准确的(我水平有限可能没发现), 句子也很流畅,潜力无限,加油
这里是我分析的一篇李笑来的文章,希望给你点启发
[url=http://www.xiaomaguohe.net/bbs/thread-10294-1-1.html]http://www.xiaomaguohe.net/bbs/thread-10294-1-1.html[/url]

[[i] 本帖最后由 qifeihu 于 2008-3-21 00:57 编辑 [/i]]

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大恩不言谢

回复 9# 的帖子

建议你再改一下 发上来 就变成范文了呵呵!

[[i] 本帖最后由 qifeihu 于 2008-3-21 20:03 编辑 [/i]]

It’s hard to imagine some people can succeed without any luck
感觉用  Hadely can I imagine.......好些吧
LZ思路不错呵 例子很有说服力
加油哈！
看了 小艾 的修改学到很多！
我也要努力呵~~~~~