qifeihu 2008-3-17 03:34
李笑来优秀范文转载----品位大师风范
[font=Times New Roman][size=5]Are parents the best teachers?[/size][/font][b][size=14pt][font=Times New Roman] [color=teal] [/color][color=teal]Obviously, in most cases the earliest teachers people have are their parents, and parents are generally most concerned about the development of their children. [/color][color=red]However, is is not completely true to say that parents are the best teachers.[/color][/font][/size][/b]
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[color=red]First of all, not all parents are good teachers.[/color][color=teal] [color=red]As normal individuals[/color], some parents more or less have some bad habits.[/color] [i](1)Even though parents almost instinctively devote themselves to cultivating their offspring, the outcome might turn out to be disappointment, for all children tend to unconsciously or subconsciously copy everything including bad ones from their parents.[/i] [color=red]Another deficiency of parents[/color] as teachers is the fact that most parents are lack of common senses of education. All too often we observe some parents tend to pursue their cherished but failed dream by forcing their children to develop in a prearranged direction. [u]Ironically, when their children do not follow the instructions, the children will be regarded as disobedient or allegedly rebellious. In fact, it is parents rather than their children that virtually disobey common senses.[/u][/color][/font][/size][/b]
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[color=red]Moreover, some parent are qualified as good teachers, but not all of them are the best ones.[/color] When children are in the preliminary school,[i] (2)it [b][i]is[/i] [i]not surprising that parents are perhaps capable of teaching their children almost every subject even better than professional teachers in the school[/i][/b][/i]. But the situation will not last long. We live in a world where knowledge is accumulated by multiplying and at the same time becomes more and more specialized. [color=red]Therefore,[/color] to be a professional in a certain field today takes much longer time than has ever been before. [u]No parente is able to be release rather than charge their children as early as possible. They are aware of the possibility outside the family.[/u][/color][/font][/size][/b]
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[color=red]Parents may, nevertheless, help their children much more than do good teachers.[/color] Most parts of children education are virtually beyond teachers’ reaches. [i](3)It is parents that supplement.[/i] [u]Psychology studies have shown us that parents’ love sometimes has astonishingly magic power to their children. Albert Einstein’s mother and that of [/u][/size][/b][b][size=14pt][u]Forest[/u][/size][/b][b][size=14pt][u] Gump are both good examples[/u].[color=red] On the other hand[/color], parents might do their children harm more than do bad teachers as well. The natures of those children whose parents have divorced are often severely distorted. [color=red]In a word, it is rather superficial to simply say that parents are the best teachers.[/color][/size][/b][/color][/font]
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[font=Times New Roman][b][size=14pt][color=indigo] 近日批贴发现小马们问题多多,于是找来笑来优秀范文共同学习. [/color][/size][/b][/font]
[font=Times New Roman][b][size=14pt][color=indigo] [color=red]红笔部分[/color]为全文的框架.不难看出文章的脉络非常清晰,尤其是分论点(sub points)的提出,虽然平实,但却一针见血,非常符合北美学术文章的标准, 看看其它优秀的学术文章像TOEFL的阅读部分,都是这种标准的结构望大家借鉴.注意到此文的开头及其短,但是却极为有力,很多同学的文章的开头很花哨,引用,排比,设问,反问可是常常弄巧成拙,折腾半天也有明确的提出自己的观点mainly idea,对比, 引用, 排比, 提问并不是不可以用,要知道他们是为了更好的提出你的mainly idea. 文章的过渡词也不像很多同学,firstly,secondly,finally 因此段落之间不仅有层次,而且加强了段落之间的逻辑性,连接的更为自然. 细心的小马们可能会发现本文没有结论段,根据笑来老师的讲义:如果论证的足够充分可以不写结论段而直接结束.(论坛里有李笑来老师的学生总结的随堂讲义供大家下载)大家还要注意本文写的是中立的观点,观察文章是如何利用框架提出中立观点的.[/color][/size][/b][/font]
[font=Times New Roman][b][size=14pt][color=indigo] [u][color=teal]下划线部分[/color][/u]为论证部分的detail and example.很多同学通篇的论证,说了很多的套话空话,一看就会发现很多背诵模版的痕迹,有的就算说了例子也缺少必要的detail,而显得论证不充分,大家看看笑来老师是如何使用detail and example来支持自己的sub points.[/color][/size][/b][/font]
[font=Times New Roman][color=#4b0082][b][size=14pt] [color=teal][i]斜体部分[/i]为[/color]文章中使用的几个high-level 的经典句型[/size][/b][/color][/font]
[font=Times New Roman][color=#4b0082][b][size=14pt](1)为even though引导的让步壮语从句,用来强调主句部分[/size][/b][/color][/font]
[font=Times New Roman][color=#4b0082][b][size=14pt](2)为经典的比较句式 It is not surprising that..... are even better than.......[/size][/b][/color][/font]
[font=Times New Roman][color=#4b0082][b][size=14pt](3)为更为经典的It is ...that... 强调句式[/size][/b][/color][/font]
[font=Times New Roman][b][size=7][color=magenta][size=14pt]稍后附上全文翻译,敬请期待!![/size][/color][/size][/b][/font]
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[[i] 本帖最后由 qifeihu 于 2008-3-17 05:05 编辑 [/i]]
guanerjia 2008-3-17 11:15
这么晚了还在为大家辛苦,非常感谢:handshake
TOEFL759_198 2008-3-25 17:43
平实简练而有条理,我喜欢!!
shuyingliang 2008-6-17 20:23
写得好强喔~~`
l_dongli 2008-7-9 14:42
好象是很简单的框架啊
不过里面的内容那些词汇呀什么的一看就是大师级别的:hug:
heycinderella 2008-7-12 09:25
简洁优美啊,估计就是这个意思
最后一段的思路是从没想到过的
zjl860322 2008-7-24 11:31
:) 哈哈,这个框架确实不错啊 !!!....
而且文章中的句子也是很好的哦....
zjl860322 2008-7-24 11:32
写作有助的哦
:) 哈哈,这个框架确实不错啊 !!!....
而且文章中的句子也是很好的哦....
december1219 2008-7-26 23:23
i am soooooooooooooooooooooooooooo worry about my writing~~:L
qifeihu 2008-7-28 23:38
回复 12# 的帖子
[url]http://bbs.xiaoma.com/thread-18639-1-1.html[/url] 这个帖子对你应该很有帮助
xmzhermione 2008-8-2 00:47
其实也没有那么难
谢谢啦
ulux 2008-8-18 17:02
期待自己能够在精心的准备之后也写出这样的文章……谢拉 受益颇多吖 :D 呵呵
lilylethe 2008-8-27 14:37
:lol 感谢啦先!!!
zhubo19860429 2008-9-9 10:09
文章中这句不懂
No parente is able to be release rather than charge their children as early as possible. They are aware of the possibility outside the family.怎么翻译啊,是什么意思?